Is it new? This restless longing? I’m like a horse in the starting gate, waiting for someone to tell me it’s time to run.
I’ve been working on a thing. (I’ve worked on so many things, building out places and spaces and resources is as much a part of me as the fingers that type out my thoughts as fast as I can think them.) But now, I’m been working on a thing that I will invite you into. I’m calling it The In Process Collective.
Oh my. Beth Moore.
Whatever water she is drinking these days – (which I think is called what-happens-to-a-woman-when-she-no-longer-fears-man) – I want to get my hands on some.
If you missed it, Beth wrote a powerful letter to our brothers in the church. Sometimes, when the church sees a movement like “me-too” sweeping the nation, they ignore it. Sometimes they get together in a room and talk about how to care for the women in their particular body. Sometimes they set up spaces for women to process and work through their questions and feelings about the movement.
What is there to say on this day?
That the Lord is risen? He is risen indeed.
I feel it pressing in on me today, the weight of it pushing on every square inch of the skin of my soul: an awareness of the kindness of the Lord to me.
And I could fill your Instagram feed with pictures of His kindness: of the faces of faithfulness and the bountiful gifts, but it is not of these things that I speak. I speak of the pain, of the mistakes, of the failure, of the darkness. How kind He has been to me through these things.
[I wrote all this on Thursday BTW. So. ya know. go with it.]
I love this day. We have much to remember on it – He and I.
This day a few decades back (give or take a few years) You were wrapping bones and cells and ligaments around this soul that is me. You were expanding lungs to inhale air.
This day a couple a thousand years ago (or at least what we remember on this day) You were staring down Your worst fears.
I woke up this morning feeling it in every part of my body. The stress starts in the pit of my stomach and bubbles up through my vertebrae, infecting my muscles.
I honestly couldn’t tell you what I am stressed about. Work has been busy, there are tasks unfinished with immovable deadlines, there are so many tops spinning that one is going to fall on my watch, but honestly – I’m no stranger (and some might say I even enjoy) the chaos of this kind of work. I’m behind on projects desperately important to me (stay tuned for grief videos!), but agin, that’s nothing new.