I have 26 blog post drafts saved in my ‘drafts’ folder. 26 drafts. And yet I haven’t posted for a single week because I have writer’s block.
I have only had a couple of minutes at a time to work on writing over the past few weeks, so I would sit down and start a new draft, but then be called away by the madness of life. By the time I would come back to finish the draft I started, I’d lost interest in that topic.
Tonight I’m feeling an unhealthy degree of pressure to post something on this blog because I can hear all the ‘blog experts’ in my head, telling me that I’m losing a million readers every day I don’t write.
So I figured I’d just give you an update on my life by sharing three adjectives that describe how I’m currently feeling:
1. Tired. This sounds like a bad word, but it’s not. I’m not soul tired, I’m just physically tired. Since the Spring semester started I have been teaching 5-6 classes a week as well as keeping up my usual workload and writing a new curriculum. That’s a lot. But I’m not kidding when I say that I’m not soul tired. I’m feeling good. I owe that to the Holy Spirit I think. Working in His strength is way better than trying to do this thing in my own.
2. Happy. Guys! Happy?! Can you believe I would use that adjective to describe myself?!? I came home just a few weeks ago, and finally felt ready to use the ‘h’ word to my roommate to describe my mood. (I had been waiting until I was sure it wasn’t just something I ate.)
Nothing in my life has changed. In fact, if anything, life has been more hectic and challenging than normal. Yet, I feel happy. I feel joy, real and deep, flooding through my veins. I am thankful. Thankful for the darkness of death that kills things in your heart that you are sure don’t need to die and forces you to beg for new life. I am thankful for all the good and sweet things that have been lost over the past year, because each empty space has made more room for Him to move into my heart.
I decided to let my roommate provide you with the third adjective, so I just asked her how she would describe me right now, and you know what she said? Happy. She thinks I’m happy too. :)
I told her I’d already used that one, so she gave me another. I think it’s closely linked to why I feel so happy:
3. Faith-full. (My roommate wanted to be sure and clarify that I’m not ‘faithful’ but rather, I seem ‘filled with faith’. She didn’t want any confusion. Thanks for that, Val. :) ). Seriously though, I feel ‘filled with faith’. I have been prompted by the Spirit to pray more, and with that comes more of an ability to see God move. I am feeling encouraged and hopeful that God cares about the tiny details of my day and has every molecule wrapped up in His mighty grip.
So guys. That’s me in a box.
And that’s ‘write blog post’ crossed off my to-do list.
Please tell me what three adjectives describe you right now!