It’s hard to remember all the way back to the start of last year. I think it’s a good exercise though: reflection; remembering.
January was a bumpy month for me. I felt expectations on me: to be okay, to be ‘better’. So I spelled out the truth: I don’t have it together. I actually wrote two of my most popular all time blogs in the darkness of January: What to look for in a guy. and Bad boundaries.
February continued the theme. I was still feeling pretty discombobulated and Valentine’s day brought an unexpected and new kind of hard. In the midst of that I was able to spit out some more practical blogs like: 2 ways to deal with being boy crazy, (obviously NOT written from personal experience :))
April reminded me of how slippery our hearts can be. All it takes is a week and we’ll forget all that God has done and become hardened. Crazy. In April I wrote one of my more controversial posts: The ‘M’ Word.
In the next month, I went to the Gospel Coalition conference in Florida and learned a ton from some better women than me. June brought with it my first Father’s day without a father in the world. I started to realize how you can be changed by grief and life and I became so overwhelmingly thankful for all the people who held me and continue to hold me with an open hand. They give me space to figure out who I am; they let me change.
It feels like it has been 18 years since I lost my dad, but July actually marked the one year anniversary. I know everyone loses people, but I know lots of people have to wrestle through that process alone. I didn’t. I don’t. My friends are so great in hard times. More than that, how amazing is it that we serve a God who loves us when we’re needy and is willing to step into time and share His plan for our lives?
August held another anniversary: 10 years since my adoption into His family. I shared My story with you guys. And despite that happy celebration I shared some painful thoughts on drifting and wrestled with the snags and division I could feel in my heart.
As work got crazy in September I reminded myself that my ministry is a blessing not a burden. I fought to exploit anxiety and just love Jesus. I clung to the truths that had the power to get me through each day. I shared 5 notes on dating for the gals.
The Desiring God Conference on Sanctification came in October and it breathed fresh energy into my singleness sails. Inspired, I tapped into some great resources I have in the community around me and asked some pals to share their thoughts on dating and boundaries.
November I processed 3 ways to respond to insecurity and I clung to things worth remembering. I shared a haunting quote from a guy on death row and wrote a letter to a 16 year-old self. We went through an amazing adoption series at Church and it helped me articulate how important it is that we embrace one another and the church.
Tomorrow I’ll post all that I’m dreaming and hoping for this next year, but the reality is – I don’t know what 2013 holds. And nor do you.
Goal number one of the new year for me is to silence the lie that knowing what is around the corner would somehow help.
What I know is that every day of 2013 will hold with it what I need for life and godliness. Thankful.