Anonymous: Day 1

Somewhere along the way the wheels really came off the bus for Tierra.

No one really knows for sure. Well, at least not any of the people in my house. That’s probably because we have only really known her for a grand total of less than 10 hours. And, to be fair, all of our information flows from the notoriously sensational throws of reality television, which has a tendency to make the normal seem crazy – and the crazy seem downright pathological.

Nonetheless, even with all the advances in modern editing, Tierra doesn’t need any help letting her crazy flag fly. Emotional outbursts, laser-precision manipulation, clearly premeditated personal accidents, and catfights that would make Nikki Minaj and Mariah Carey blush are all part of our girl’s everyday, dating life.

Of course we watch this train wreck week after week and assume that she isn’t human. Surely she is the spawn of some sort of evil witch and Voldemort, with unusually arched eyebrows. But she is a real person. She has a real story.

What is one possibility on how we got here? Let me take a stab at it…

Her parents meant well. They thought that if they gave her everything that she ever wanted and spent day after day affirming that she was perfect – she would grow into a strong, confident woman. They thought the gifts would lead to sharing– the compliments to noticing the nice things in others. They thought if they told her there was a certain sparkle of magic within her that it just mighthelp her believe she had the power to bring change, to bring good.

Boy, were they wrong.

Every intention her parents had to shape her into the kind of woman they wanted her to be was thwarted by the unfortunate reality of who she already was: a girl with a heart that worked against every aim of good,beating in her own chest. The constant shower of attention and praise fed her dark heart like a rabid dog – never satisfied and always snarling for more.

She never learned the gifts she was given in life were meant to be shared and used for the benefit of others. She never learned that herworth couldn’t come from the affections or attentions of a bachelor. (She certainly never learned that falling UP the stairs always looks fishy, no matter what)

Because of that she learned to hoard every thing for herself. She also learned to view anyone else receiving attention or gifts from others as dangerous – a self-proclaimed threat to her sparkle within. (The very phrase made me throw up a little in my mouth)

When you think about the way she acts now with this possible scenario in mind – her behavior doesn’t seem all that crazy. In act, based on her worldview, it makes all the sense in the world. If you don’t know of a better, more secure love – you will always grab for the love you can get. And most of the time, you’ll do whatever you can to make it happen. No matter how crazy you look to millions of people.

Me and Tierra really aren’t all that different.

When I forget all the things God has spent my life revealing to me – like where my value is and where I can be most satisfied – I grab for lesser things too. And it ain’t pretty, either. And if even a fraction of my craziest, most embarrassing grasps were captured and immortalized on national television – I would move to Canada.

They’re nice to everyone there.

2 thoughts on “Anonymous: Day 1

  1. Ohhhh. I like this. I especially appreciate how you turn it back on yourself at the end. I have a tendency to overly judge people for being…people and then the Holy Spirit holds up a mirror and reminds me that in a fallen state, there isn’t much difference between me and the one I judged. “Tread carefully, Sarah Drinka,” are the words I hear.

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