Answered prayers and tearful gratitude

This verse made me cry this morning:

All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O LORD, for they have heard the words of your mouth, (Psalm 138:4 ESV)

Psalm 138 is a psalm about thanking God with your whole heart. That feeling of heart-fullness that you experience when deep gratitude overwhelms you – that feeling is one of my favorite feelings in the world.

And this morning, I cried when I read verse 4 because it isn’t crazy to me. I totally get why kings would feel their hearts full to the brim with gratitude because of the gracious gift of God letting them hear the words of His mouth.  And that is crazy.

When did my heart begin to actually functionally believe that hearing God’s words is an unspeakably and desperately amazing grace?Screen Shot 2014-12-19 at 12.54.10 PM

One of my elders described me this week as someone who loves God’s Word; who is excited by it and feels joy in it.  And I felt almost confused when he said it, because is that true?  And when did God do that?  Seriously, when did God’s Word become to me such a delight?  When did God make me someone who honestly feels so thankful for His words that my heart might break under the weight of gratitude?

This morning, I read this blog post I wrote five years ago.  My brother in Christ had challenged our team to dig into God’s Word with a new kind of obsessive determination and discipline, and I took up his challenge and blogged about it.

That brother is worshipping God now with no more sin between him and his Savior.  And He is experiencing the words of our father instead of just hearing them.

And – (I type this with shock that it is true) – my thankfulness to that brother is utterly cannibalized by my thankfulness for him. My gratitude is to God, for the gift of hearing His words.

This is my God.  He is the one who speaks to His people and gives to them teachers and shepherds who will not just tell them what His Word says, but who will train them to hear from God for themselves.  What a God He is.  Indeed, all the kings of the earth would give him thanks if they heard the words of His mouth.

Exactly five years ago today I prayed this prayer:

Oh, my sweet Jesus.  You surely know how little I value You.  You alone know how little I truly long to know You.  Please, by your great grace continue to change my heart.  Spirit- give me the gift of desiring You above all.  Let me be a woman who stands on Your word.  Let me be a woman who is shaped by what You say about me; by what You say about You.

And today I am sitting in a coffee shop crying because I understand why all the kings of the earth would give God thanks for hearing the words of His mouth.

Find His words.  Eat them.  I believe, with my whole heart today, they will become to you a delight.

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