Blessings of Singleness #5: Lack of Physical Intimacy

In our culture it seems ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’ when women desire sex as a means to emotional intimacy.  But no one believes that a woman could struggle with the purely physical.  So, I’ll go ahead and put this blog out there just in case it might be an encouragement.  This struggle has provided for me the biggest challenge and deepest ‘suffering’ of singleness.

I believe that one day, I will look at my life and say with confidence that the single greatest blessing I have experienced of singleness has been pain of learning to live without physical intimacy.

Part of why it’s been so painful is it is probably the struggle that has confused me most.  It’s been (and is) a pretty hard sell to get my body on board with the idea that I’m not missing out on what I was created for.  It’s challenging to not feel entitled.  And in a moment of absolute vulnerability, it’s one of the things that has made it the hardest to trust my sweet and faithful God.  And in some ways – in dark and frightened places – I feel forgotten and betrayed and confused.

Because I know He knows me. I know He knows my body and my heart and I know He designed and wired this desire inside of me in the same way He wired my belly to grumble slightly around 11:02 AM.  My hunger is designed to prompt me to eat.  And so I do.  And yet, my Father has told me that when I am hungry in this sense I must trust Him and not find food for myself.  And He has seen fit not to give me any guarantee that this hunger will ever be satisfied.

There is pain.  There is pain in watching my friends be fed one after another with the thing I feel like I need the most.  There is pain in facing each morning with the knowledge that today there will be no daily bread for this hunger.  There is pain as I sit, feeling as though I am starving to death, and listen to my married friends try to explain to me that eating is overrated.

And the truth is: this is the biggest blessing of my life.

You know what it makes me think about?  Fasting.  Fasting is strange.  I think it’s weird that God is about physical fasting.  It involves a need that is seemingly purely physical.

When I am lonely, I ultimately want God.  When I am sad, only God can bring true joy.  When I am afraid, it points me to the promises of God.  When I feel rejected, unwanted, unloved, alone, in all these needs, God alone will bring true and lasting peace.

But, when I’m hungry, I want a cheeseburger and some fries.

Physical desires seemingly terminate on physical things.  And that’s the beauty of fasting.  God commands us to fast, not so that He can prove He is as good as a cheeseburger by making our hunger go away. God commands us to fast so that we learn to feel hungry and trust Him in the midst of that gnawing sense of need.

The goal of fasting is not for God to remove our hunger, but for us to learn that in the midst of hunger He is trustworthy.  The feeling of hunger is the point of the fast.  God wants us to feel hunger so that we are reminded that we are not supposed to be satisfied and we are supposed to long for Him.  We fast to reflect that we trust God regardless of what our bodies tell us.  He is our authority, not our bodies.

Today, my body wants something tangible and physical.  My body doesn’t know that God will satisfy all my needs.  It just wants what it was made to have.  And today, I don’t get to have that.  And so the line is drawn in the sand and the challenge is made.  Today, what will be my source of truth?  Who will be the one who determines what I need?  My body?  Or my God?  Who knows my needs better?  Me or Jesus?  When I feel so clearly what I ‘need’, will I trust Him that there is a greater need?  Will I learn to be hungry so that I can trust Him in hunger, not just in plenty?

There is no area in my life that makes me more likely to doubt the promises of God than this area.  I have told friends through tears that many days I do not feel like I have everything I need for life and godliness because of this.  I do not know how I am going to persevere in light of my hunger and in light of my Father’s gracious call to purity.

And so, this pain, more than anything else will teach me to trust.  Each day, as the sun goes down and I still find myself securely held in the arms of the Father, my faith is built.    He doesn’t promise to give me everything I need to never be hungry.  He promises to give me everything I need to not starve to death on the road home to Him.  And today I’m alive; He has proved Himself faithful.  He doesn’t promise to give me everything I need to never ever falter.  He promises to give me everything I need to finish this race.  And today I love Him; He has proved Himself faithful.  He will finish the good work He began in me.  There is only one thing I really need.  And it is secure.

I have failed. Make no mistake.  I’m ashamed to say that more days of this life than not I have behaved as an orphan.  Though adopted, and promised provision, I have refused to trust but instead I have taken for myself what has not been given. When He has not provided for me, I have stolen and cheated.  But He has never forsaken me.  The price He paid to buy my freedom is more than enough to secure me despite my human frailty.  He has delivered me time and time again.

I am typing this today.  And today I love Jesus.  And that is by His grace alone.  I have traded Him for the fleeting pleasures of this world too many times to count, but He has never traded me.  And He will never trade me.  And He has met me in the pig pen and He has led me home.  And so I trust Him more today than I did yesterday.

And so today, by His grace, I will say – your commandments are not burdensome.  Today I will say – I trust that you know what is best for me.  I trust that you will not withhold.  I trust that you – the maker of my body – know exactly what it needs today to worship you.

Today, in order to worship God, my body needs to be hungry.  Today, He is giving me the blessed pain of hunger because it’s the only way I’m going to make it home, and He is nothing if not faithful to the promise to give me what I need to make it to Him.

You will waste this suffering if it doesn’t cause you to long for death.  Sounds morbid.  However, I want to stand with Paul and say that ‘my desire is to depart to be with Christ, for that is far better’.  It might be that the pain of a life without physical intimacy was part of what equipped Paul to proclaim through the Spirit that to die is gain.  To die is to gain a glorified body that feels and experiences the truth that all our needs are met in Jesus.  To die is to gain the heavenly reality that earthly intimacy can only reflect in shadows.  To die is to gain full oneness with God; fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.  To die is to gain Jesus.

You will waste this suffering if you fail to use it to witness about the greatness of God.  Our God is a God of pleasure.  He is not calling us to hunger because he wants us to be miserable.  He is calling us to hunger because He wants us to experience the greatest pleasure available to man.  There is nothing that sounds as foolish to the world as a person who would pursue purity, not out of some sense of religious obligation, but out of a faith that there is a greater pleasure in store for those who would trust in the Creator.  There is nothing that makes God look as beautiful as when we, who have tasted His goodness, would use our lives to testify that we will forego any momentary joy in order to taste more of Him.

There are pieces of my testimony that I hate; that I might wish to rewrite.  But even in my failure, God has written my life with His divine grace.  Perhaps this struggle more than any other has made me more like Christ.  Perhaps this struggle more than any other has proved the truth of Hebrews 4:14-16 in my life.  If you are ashamed, if you have failed, rest your heart in the fact that the gospel was made for such a time as this.  We don’t have a great high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.  Praise God that we have Jesus.  Who has walked in singleness; tempted in every way, and yet never succumbed.  So draw near to Him and receive mercy and find grace to help in time of trouble.

Thanks be to God.

72 thoughts on “Blessings of Singleness #5: Lack of Physical Intimacy

  1. thanks so much for this fabs. you are definitely not alone. this has been such a hard struggle for me as well. you have an jncreible gift of putting things into words. love reading your thoughts

  2. I love the last part about failure, and about having a High Priest who is able to sympathize with our weakness. Soooo encouraging. I love Jesus and it’s in moments such as these that He brings comfort thru His Word.

    I ditto what Jeanette said, you have an incredible gift for writing.

    And I’m gonna keep lovingly bugging you to WRITE THAT BOOK!!!

  3. This is incredible…..I thought #4 was my favorite, but this one………spoke to my masculine soul and how I hunger and constantly make war every day against that hunger cause I know the promises of Jesus are so much better and fulfilling.

    This line wrecked my world “You will waste this suffering if it doesn’t cause you to long for death.” What profound beauty there is in that statement!!!! Keep writing!

  4. I happened upon your blog while “blog-hopping”. Are you part of a small group that is open? I sure could use some women who speak so openly in my life and I would love to open myself up to bless other women. This is probably a random question from a completely random person, but sometimes it’s hard to connect with other folks, so I hope you don’t mind me asking.

  5. I sort of go to the Austin Stone (long story) and live in Austin. I’ve been involved with the church and other groups, but….again long story. 🙂

    Sorry for the cryptic responses and lack in better identifying myself. I don’t want to say too much that others can read. You can reach me at the e-mail address I post to this, if you want. Otherwise I’ll just check back. Thanks! 🙂

  6. I told Carolyn McCulley (who reposted this), and I wanted to tell you too. THANK YOU! You have no way of knowing how much I needed to read this this week, but Praise Him, that our Father knows. I get so weary of reading articles that say, “Oh, and women struggle with this too, but back to addressing the boys.” It’s nice to have someone more than just admit to the struggle, but share weapons to help us win the battle in Christ. That’s probably not phrased very well. Anyways, thank you so much–you’ve been a blessing to me today. Praise God!

  7. Fabs–thanks for writing this, and in a tasteful way. I dont think we say much about this & that has made me wonder, sometimes, if I am incredibly unusual. His commandments are not burdensome–an important reminder! I’m looking forward to seeing the other posts in this series. I cam here via the Radical Womanhood blog.

  8. thank you for putting this into words so beautifully expressed! I happened upon your blog while blog hopping as well and God used it in a mighty way to speak truth to my heart.

  9. Thank you for this. I’m married but I’m often saddened by hurtful and jugdementL comments /advice that well meaning Christians have for singles. Most churches where I live are very “pro-marriage” and single ladies are very much neglected/forgotten/made to feel they must get married. I’m so glad u wrote this and I pray that as the lord gives u the grace, u will continue to encourage other ladies in the way and in the joy of the lord.

  10. I also came here through the Radical Womanhood blog, and wanted to let you know how very grateful I am for this post. I plan to print it out and keep it in my devotional journal so I can re-read it often and share it with the ladies in my small group. I have never read anything written by a woman (or a man, for that matter) on this topic that is more honest, humble, deeply thoughtful, Christ-centered, and encouraging. The beautiful way you wrote about these truths is going to be an incredible help to me as I wait on the Lord during this time of fasting. Thank you for serving my soul so well!

  11. thank you for stepping out in courage and grace to write and post this! agreed with the comment above, this is the most i’ve heard from any woman about this in a way that puts your love and passion for God through pain on display – you know God still favors you as you honor him. beautiful.

  12. Although this isn’t a big struggle for me (hmm, maybe I really do have the famous ‘gift of celibacy’ I keep hearing about :-), I appreciated your honest take on it. No better place to discuss these very real issues than in the community of believers. I came here from the Radical Womanhood blog, and have enjoyed perusing the blog(although I’m a bit wary of anyone who prefers Wendy’s to Fogo de Chao). God bless, sister!

  13. just clicked on this blog from a friend who linked it to theirs and wanted to say I absolutely loved loved loved your vulnerability and honesty. it was so refreshing to read your blog and see the intentionality with which you live your life.

  14. Thank you for taking time to write, from your soul, such a beautiful and inspired piece. I will share it with many who I know will receive that deep down encouragement that we often need. Blessings.

  15. Thank you SO MUCH for posting this. I never thought of abstinence as fasting, but thinking about it in that light will make it much easier to persevere next time I am tempted. God bless you!

  16. Hallelujah! I am not a freak! No one ever talks about this stuff! I’m a nearly 40yr old virgin and feel like I’m the only woman on the planet that dreams of having sex! Thank you for making me see that I’m not alone in these struggles and also your insight in how to deal with these purely physical desires… I appreciate it more than you could ever know!

  17. I don’t cry often, but honestly, tears flowed freely as I read this post. My heart hurts. I know too well the agony felt when a wave of unmet yearning culminates with the ever-present ache of loneliness. Those are the moments in which I am tempted to see God’s creation of sexuality as a cruel joke rather than a blessing. Reading your post made me wish my heart and my will was in line with my head – that my affections would match my cognitive assurance of God’s goodness and draw my actions into obedience. I trust that the Holy Spirit is at work in me, but I remain unsatisfied and unsettled for the time being. I just don’t know how to get there.

  18. …I need to post something in response to this, as I found it at a crucial point in my life. First off, thank you. Thank you sooo much that you posted this. Thank you for your words of wisdom, and of encouragement. I am an 18 year old woman (girl, really), who has given all for the sake of “feeling loved.” I have suffered hurt and anger over giving myself away, and I deeply regret it. I was raised in a Christian home, and have two loving, available Christian parents. I felt the need to rebel, and have run the gamut of things to do to show my parents that I am my own person. I have tried smoking, drinking, getting high, and having intimate sexual relations with guys…I was leading a “double life” for so long, and just last weekend decided to quit all the crud that I had for so long depended on. Reading this post made me want to cry, and I had so much to dwell on after reading this. I had never thought of abstinence as fasting…it makes sense to me! …I’m sitting here with my Bible, writing down anything and everything that sticks out to me, and just trying to recommit to God. This post has given me alot to think about. I want to thank you for that. I would really appreciate it if you would ever consider emailing me…I’d love to talk to you and get insight. Thank you so much for this post. 🙂

  19. Thank you so much, Fabs, not only for your honesty in your struggles, but also for your wisdom and exhortation to pursue God and to trust Him with our lives. I’ve been so encouraged since reading your blog posts, especially the ones on singleness! I’m glad you’re using your struggles and your gifts of being coherent while writing, to honor the Lord and encourage fellow Christian sisters =)

  20. Thank you for posting this. I also came by this via the Radical Womanhood blog which also came from somewhere else. But I just wanted to thank you for your honesty. I am encouraged to know that I’m not the only single Christian woman who struggles with the lack of physical intimacy. And what a good reminder that my desires ultimately point me back to the Cross. God bless. (And someone in the comments above mentioned something about a book. Certainly do get it written! I think it will be a huge blessing to many!)

  21. Just wanted to let you know that this post blessed me so much. I have always struggled with lust and I’m sick of hearing this topic only addressed to men. I’m still processing what you wrote, but I already feel the chains breaking as I realize the lies I believed, and start to replace them with truths. I’m beginning to realize that the answer isn’t asking for God to give me the strength to resist temptation (although this is necessary as well), but the whole purpose to this struggle is to realize how much I need God and to teach me to trust. I know that through this, I will have amazing revelations of God’s love for me.

    God bless you for helping so many women with the wisdom he has given you. 🙂

  22. How true…Thank you for writing this. I have been struggling alot lately with these hunger as I progress into the thirties. In a culture that is saturated with this hunger that we cannot satisfy as single Christian women, I think this is one of the biggest ‘pain’ of singlehood. The longings and the waiting for them to be satisfied….thanks for this

  23. I was absolutely moved by this post, the vulnerability, and the hope found in your faith. Yes, of course, this is exactly the topic I had hoped to find someone writing about – since it is a topic that seems ever harder to speak about.

    Your hunger analogy is spot on. I had been pondering last year about this same time about how sometime singleness seems to separate me from what seem like the big “realities” – sexual intimacy, yes, but also childbirth, a closeness to the sickness or even death of others, marriage… I pondered if trying to be more proactive in placing myself near more of these situations would helpful to me, or would be a case of “the starving serving the overfed.” And I think the answer to both of those thoughts is yes.

    Thanks for sharing this writing. I look forward to reading some of your other posts.
    Peace to your new year.

  24. A friend found this through the Radical Womanhood website, she e-mailed me the link… and now I’m thanking God for this article. He really spoke to me through the words you wrote.
    Now I’m going to translate it into Spanish to share it with more friends…. unless somebody already did, then you could send it to me and save me some work XD… or I could send you my translation so that more can read it.

  25. Sorry to shake up all of the positive comments your getting, but this post is narrow-minded and factually incorrect when you state that it’s abnormal for any human, regardless of gender, to not only desire sex, but as one of the multifaceted parts of sex, the emotional intimacy that does come with sex. That being said, obviously if you’re having sex with someone you care nothing about, it’s inflicting self harm in the sense that human craves physical and emotional closeness, and sometimes sleeping with random people cannot fill those need. But if you’re in a relationship that your happy with, loving your partner, both having sex and not having sex will cause you problems. Christians often say that they’re relationships are ‘so much better’ and ‘within the contextual lines within a book’, yet how often do you hear religious individual whining about not being able to have sex until they’re married? Quite often. Obviously having sex can cause problems in a relationship also, but to deny sexual tension and frustration between a couple due to feeling obligated to “stay pure” in undeniable.

    Our society offers plentiful amounts of double standards, and the differences between the sexual liberation between men and women are far too many. Teaching young girls things such as, “always be modest, men/God/whoever don’t like it when you don’t act like a ‘lady'”, forcing values upon them such as abstaining from sex until marriage, and adding to the sexual liberation gap by claiming women and girls ‘loose purity, innocence, modesty’ or anything of the like because of sex, is wrong and sets children up for failure.

    I do acknowledge that it is brave of you to step out and declare the things in the post because of the kind of religious community you put yourself in, which I commend you for. That being said, its sad that religious standards and expectations have cause women, and occasionally men, to become dishonest about their biological, mental, and physical desire for sex. Every human, man/woman/genderless/ect., needs to break away from thoughts viewing sex outside of certain circumstances as bad, dirty, ect. It’s incredibly sad when I meet Christian parents who are so close-minded to sex that when their children are having sex behind their backs, they would rather harp on abstinence instead of accepting that their child may have different views than them, and informing them on how to have safe sex. Christianity has been trying to squelch human desires for too long, and thankfully a lot of society doesn’t buy into it. With an increasing amount of sexual liberation in American, from the soon to be legal marriage of LGBT individuals which should have happened decades ago, to a steadily increasing amount of women and men pushing away from their parents (or who ever) views that they try to force on their children, women should realize that there is nothing wrong with feeding your sexual appetite, whether it be with a man, woman, whomever! Get informed ladies, feminism is absolutely vital to our society, and if anyone wants to dispute this, feel free 😀

  26. This is likewise the most challenging part of following Christ for myself- your description could have been of me. In the last months I have grown in kingdom vision tremendously and agree that we must come to terms with the feeling that Jesus is withholding something from us if we are really to trust Him. What can He do through radically committed followers who love Him for all His beauty and not just for our own gain? And really, what has not given us if He gave us Himself? The longing has a purpose- I won’t claim to understand it or to deny its pain, but I pray to have dreams bigger than my own life. We will be victorious whether married or single till the day we die.

  27. I really, really, really needed to read this. This is probably my greatest obstacle too when it comes to singleness and this post really spoke to my heart. Thank you for being obedient and using your own struggles to encourage others just like you!

  28. I will echo everyone else in saying thank you.

    Can you suggest some good passages to read that I can use as encouragement? Verses I can go to that will remind me of these truths.

    Thank you!

  29. I needed to here this today! I just stumbled across your blog while Googling something, but I cannot wait to find more encouragement on your blog. Thank you for the stand you take.

      1. Hunger is beautiful when all are hungry together. Hunger is not quite so beautiful when some are feasting and others are starving.

  30. So good for me to read and re-read this. Thank you again. I’ve read it a few times and probably will continue to until this season of life and longing is done.

  31. Hey, I can’t tell you what an encouragement this blog has been to me tonight (I never leave responses, so this a testament to the impact it’s had). I am in campus ministry struggling with so many things that you have spoken truth into through your writing on this blog, this article included. Thank you for being faithful to His call on your life and for speaking truths we need to hear. Be encouraged.

  32. Wow, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this issue. You spoke right to my heart! I love how you said that we need to fast physically .. I had never thought of it like that before. Because when we fast, we do realize that we need God more. So beautiful. Thank you again.

  33. Thank you for this blog, it really is such a blessing and encouragement for many women like myself that struggle, especially in this area.

  34. “In our culture it seems ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’ when women desire sex as a means to emotional intimacy. But no one believes that a woman could struggle with the purely physical.” There. Finally. Someone said it.

    Thanks for the encouragement

  35. Fabs, thank you for this post. People don’t often write about women struggling to stay pure, but it is a very real temptation. Your post was very encouraging for me. I love how you compared it to fasting… I’ve never thought about it that way.

  36. If to die is gain, why are you still here? You’ve got a free ticket to heaven! Let’s all go! Who’s with me? You guys prefer cherry or grape kool-aid mix?

  37. God never satisfies my hunger no matter what i do or what frame of mind i decide upon, yet,.i am glad he helps some people sometimes. He is good but not necessarily beneficial to all he has made. I hope someday helps me before i end my life or something. Nevertheless, i am bad amd he is good….i deserve and accept the pain as punishment for my life..even if i didnt get any undeserved help from Him.

  38. Wow. I cannot thank you enough. I likewise find this the hardest part of being single, and it has caused me some very rocky places in my walk with the Lord because I have felt so confused about why He would withhold something I need from me. There are times when I feel like I am losing my mind, and no one in the Christian world is willing to talk about this issue with the honesty you have. Thank you for having a realistic, God-centered view on singleness and purity. I read a quote from Andrew Murray the other day that your post reminded me of: “Prayer is taking hold of the intangible, while fasting is letting go of the tangible.” How much greater our need for the Lord and for trusting in His sovereignty. I’m sure I will come back and read this post many times. Thank you!

  39. Thank you so much for sharing! I feel like we spent a few hours in a coffee shop and you just shared my story – every word used so eloquently resonated in my heart. Though I do think you are ahead of me in your understanding of the purpose of this hunger. I was just describing this hunger feeling to a couple girls last night and just stumbled onto your blog today.
    So timely.
    I’ve been asking that I would truly believe that his pleasures are greater than than anything in this world that I long for. I do believe that his Word is true, but help my unbelief.
    Thanks for writing!

  40. In the single journey, this is the one greatest area where I have struggled to see God’s intended end of compassion and mercy (James 5:11). It IS a hunger. It IS a craving. And yet, as unmarried disciples, God calls us to fast. Thank you for the tender, truthful encouragement that He is worth every hunger pang, and that this hunger in our bodies is oh, so temporary. God is good, and He is enough. What a privileged testimony to live out in the world. What a mystery we can display — yes, I am hungry, but I will not eat at this time, because my body is not my own.

  41. Love this post. Physical intimacy is something I deal with everyday. I made a promise to myself to abstain from sex and its hard. I know how it feels and it’s hard cutting that part completely off. The year that I have abstained from sex has been wonderful thoughout. i am definitely growing more with God spiritually. So I am thankful and blessed God is giving me this lesson. Thank you for stepping out on a limp and really putting yourself out there… I definitely appreciate it. It’s nice to know someone else is going through this as well.

  42. Thank you so much for this, so, so, so much. I knew it might break my heart in the best way possible as I clicked on the link, but I loved your words more and more with each sentence. I will be holding on to them as a better version of what’s in my heart.

  43. You have spoken into word my heart and my story. Wow! The Spirit has spoken such truth through you! Thanks for being an obedient vessel for his glory!

  44. Yes! I have never drawn a line to connect fasting and celibacy but YES! That is exactly it. And also,
    “You will waste this suffering if it doesn’t cause you to long for death.” – yes, I get you. There are so many days when I look at the mess and wish for heaven. But as long as I’m here it’s because God is still at work in and through me.

  45. the truths in this post are going to change my life, all over again.
    My Maker has been tenderly speaking loud and clear about holiness in my life the last few months. He’s brought me to such radical convictions I never thought I’d hold, even countercultural within the Church itself. Your article was just another thing He is using to show me His greater pleasures and more satisfying presence. I can follow restfully into fullness of joy.
    thanks for sharing your struggle so openly, sister.
    prayers from Sydney, Australia.
    athena grace.

  46. Oh. My. Goodness. I can’t believe I have stumbled upon this. I seriously thought I was the last woman, at 35 and still a virgin, left on the planet! Fabs, you have an unbelievable gift of writing and putting difficult thoughts into words. I was madly nodding the whole time, and in tears by the end. And thank you to the others who have commented, it’s so good to hear from other people sharing this pain too. Funny how in your early 20’s you just assume marriage will happen because, well, it’s as normal as getting your period, or going to school etc. There was nothing in the manual about life getting in the way, and that in fact, there may NOT BE a partner for life for all. That freaking hurts. It’s so hard when year after year, yet another friend in church gets engaged and has a great wedding etc (now everyone I know is married, i am the only one left). Then babies come along and they have the life that society expects them to have while another year goes by and your pain either gets stronger or just dulls because you’ve forgotten how to even care anymore and throw yourself into work instead. But you keep your double bed and but gradually just buy single everything such as pillows…..sorry, yet thank you for the opportunity to vent!

  47. Thank you for this. As someone newly divorced and in ministry this has been a scary scary battle for me. To love the Lord so deeply…but to not trust myself in this area has been heart wrenching.

  48. As a 63 year old single woman who has maintained her sexual purity, you article brought me to tears. You words were poetry to my heart. It is worth the effort, it is worth the struggle. Thankful for what I have—-no regrets. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to not have a husband who loves me and kids to give me hugs. As I counsel women full of regrets, I can honestly say he has blessed me by his protection. And the struggle is what has brought me to my knees and closer to Him. For I am His Beloved, His Chosen One, His Bride!

  49. I’ve just reviewed this article again, and I noticed it was written at my 15th baptismal anniversary. Today, just a couple days after my 20th baptismal anniversary, I still find myself in the same situation of unintentional singleness. And my cravings for sexual fulfilment and intimacy are still my greatest struggle when it comes to being without a husband. Just recently, I fell back into the trap of self-pleasure, but I do realize that this is against God’s will. Anyway, thank you for sharing your struggles; and thank you for reinforcing the idea of fasting from food. I will try to do that more often again.

  50. Thank you for writing and sharing this post 8 years ago. By God’s grace, I live with a woman who went to Austin Stone before moving to Atlanta and told me about you and your stance on masturbation and sexual purity. I could relate to so much of this post when it comes to craving sexual intimacy and sometimes feeling forgotten or overlooked by God because i’s still unfulfilled. But this post and these words that direct my eyes to Jesus, is so encouraging. Thank you for candidly sharing truth and for making much of God’s faithfulness in this hunger.

    1. Thank you for this encouragement! Lord knows I’ve learned most of what I know through failure, but that’s the backwards way of the Gospel sometimes. <3

  51. All of this! Who are you? I want to be your friend! Your truth is so piercing and contrite. Its all in all!!! All praises to The Most High!!!!

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