Confession #18 [of a prodigal pharisee]

Confession #18:

I sometimes try to repay my debt

I’ve been reading the parable of the prodigal son a lot lately.  And I’m seeing more and more of the younger brother/prodigal in myself.  A lot of times we think that the younger brother is the one who gets grace.  Atleast he seems to be the one who understands that he has no hope but the father’s mercy.  But this week – looking closer I saw that even that crazy prodigal can’t get his head around the one thing he needs so desperatley: free grace.

Confession # 17 [ of a prodigal pharisee]

Confession # 17:

Sometimes I only turn to the Father when all my other options fall through

“After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in the whole country, and he began to be in need…When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!  I will set out and go back to my father…”

Confession #16 [of a prodigal pharisee]

Confession #16: I am sometimes afraid of grace

I’m currently drinking a non-fact white choc macadamian nut mocha.  My hunch is that it’s not non-fat at all because it tastes so delicious.  You can taste the fat.

I wasn’t sure what confession to write on next.  I had coffee with a friend this weekend, and she kind of confessed something to me.  I wanted to use hers, because I could see so clearly the pieces of pharisee or prodigal floating in her words, but I felt weird about confessing something that isn’t mine.  I tried to categorize what the struggle might be and I came up with ‘fear of grace’.

Confession #15 [of a prodigal pharisee]

Confession # 15:

I sin because it seems to taste better than Jesus

Blargh.  I hate this confession. I feel bad even writing it.  This one is all prodigal (or younger brother), and I can tell because the pharisee (or older brother) in me is like ‘shhhh!  you don’t need to type all this!!’.  But it’s a kicker.  An obvious confession for many of you – but for me – a new realization.