The list of things I don’t have time to do today include write this blog post. But I’m a “p” (as in ENTP) – which means I need inner world organization before I can have outer world freedom, and writing – well, it’s my way of organizing the inner world and hopefully it will help me with that pesky outer world today.
First thing –
Courage.
That is the thing I ache for. the thing that I lack that keeps me up at night.
I am not afraid of physical dangers (except serial killers and great white sharks – BUT IT IS RIGHT TO FEAR SUCH THINGS). I am not afraid of bugs. I am not afraid of sadness. I am not afraid of relationships.
I am afraid of being belittled. I fear the feeling of littleness that comes from having dignity stripped away. Your voice being taken from you. Not being heard or believed. I am afraid of that happening to people I love and I am afraid of that happening to me.
Speaking of self-care (which we sort of were), i’m about to go ride a horse.
I started riding again last summer and it was one of the best decisions I made in 2016. Here are a few reasons I love it (and here are a few things I encourage you to look for in a self-care activity):
It wasn’t for anyone else.
Well, if you’re paying attention you noticed that I certainly have NOT been posting daily. In fact, it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out which day of Lent this is supposed to be.
There was a time when I would have called this (sort-of-jokingly and sort-of-not) a failure.
But those days are happily a thing of the past.
The goal of writing every day was two fold: (1) doing something me and Jesus both value – and doing it together. (2) prioritizing something that is important to me (writing). Prioritizing it today, instead of thinking that a magical time is around the corner when writing will just happen into my schedule.
May they be secure who love you.
It’s a proverb and a prayer and a hope – thrown upwards to a God who hears.
But it’s also just a logical and obvious conclusion. Those who love you will be secure.
We want Your words to work like a magic spell: squeeze our eyes shut and say it over and over again until we feel secure. But Your words are – like you – unfailingly clear, crisp and perfect with no haze of sorcery around them. They are just the truth. Heaven sent to lead us.