Fighting anxiety – thoughts from fabs

Fitting Jesus in the jar

Posted on July 24, 2018 by fabsharford

What a strange feeling it is, to sit in a place you love and know that all of your life makes sense on paper, but to feel so strangely out of place or out of sorts, adrift and at sea. This feeling can mean a few things for me. It can mean I have something I need to grieve, something I haven’t processed, or a dream that I am gripping a little too tight that’s causing me to subconsciously withdrawal from Jesus.

But sometimes it’s just that I miss my friend, Jesus. I wish He was here with me. I wish I didn’t let stupid things crowd Him out.

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finding peace.

Posted on March 10, 2018 by fabsharford

I woke up this morning feeling it in every part of my body. The stress starts in the pit of my stomach and bubbles up through my vertebrae, infecting my muscles.

I honestly couldn’t tell you what I am stressed about. Work has been busy, there are tasks unfinished with immovable deadlines, there are so many tops spinning that one is going to fall on my watch, but honestly – I’m no stranger (and some might say I even enjoy) the chaos of this kind of work. I’m behind on projects desperately important to me (stay tuned for grief videos!), but agin, that’s nothing new.

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Jesus or His bread?

Posted on August 21, 2017August 21, 2017 by fabsharford

I laid in bed last night and tried to open my heart to Him. I tried to tell Him what I was feeling and articulate what I was longing for or aching for but there was just this sadness. A weariness. So I closed my eyes and went to sleep banking on new mercies.

And here they are to meet me. Not in the way I would prefer, which is waking up feeling good and clear and excited about the week ahead.

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How to get what you want

Posted on August 10, 2017 by fabsharford

I am writing my Thesis. Right now. Well. Not this second, but I was a few seconds ago, and I will be again in a few more seconds. But I’m taking this moment, to use words to help me remember to breathe and rest and not waste these last few days before I’ll hit send and wrap up my stint as a Masters student.

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Letter to an anxious heart

Posted on July 31, 2017July 31, 2017 by fabsharford

Dear Fabs,

I know you hate it. I know you hate that panicky feeling that sets in when you watch people leave the conversation and you know you won’t be able to control what they do next. I know you hate that fierce flash of anger that floods your soul and offers to protect you from the fear you actually feel when you hear what someone else is saying about you; how they’re telling your story with words that feel wrong and inaccurate.

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