Every now and then, I click the ‘drafts’ tab on my “ALL POSTS” page out of a desire to diminish the disturbing number of posts begun and never completed.
My drafts folder is a graveyard of thoughts. Thoughts that I never had the time to flesh out or thoughts that I lacked the discipline to fully birth. And sometimes among the words that never made it – I find a draft that I don’t even remember writing, but that still feels so achingly familiar to me somehow.
I want to speak now. I want to speak while the chaos and confusion is breaking through our apathy and waking us up to the reality that something is wrong. I want to speak and add my voice to the cries that are rising up around me.
I want to speak now. But what is there to say?
Trapped in this body of pale white skin, what can my breaking heart say that will help? That I understand? That I know how it feels? Obviously not. I feel pathetic even typing those questions on this page. Still, I have buried a brother who was shot down because of similar reasons. I have held his weeping wife and will help raise his son. And I have seen the glory of God rise up from spilled blood more than once.
You know what I hate? Apathy. It cuts you off from people and from God and it does it in such a sneaky way that you actually don’t even care about being cut off. The promise of joy is no incentive to apathy; it doesn’t care. The threat of discomfort is no deterrent to apathy; it is indifferent.
I want to be healed from apathy. And I know God wants that for me too. Which begs a question: if God cares so much about me being healed and free from my sin, why doesn’t He just wave a hand over my head and heal me from it?
As for Ted and Sandra’s house, they will serve the approval of mom and dad because it makes their reign and rule a lot easier.
Joseph would rather people worship the idol of money for an extra six months, than see them be set free through someone other than himself.
Instead of being willing to do whatever it takes to help his wife prioritize her worship and intimacy with God, Bob is willing to watch her worship the idol of family as long as he benefits from her idolatry.
Well, when you say it like that…
I told you that I spent some time alone in Scotland recently. What I didn’t tell you was about the night I laid in bed in the middle of nowhere while 110-120 mph winds tore at the cabin so ferociously that I was prompted to lean over and grab my phone to ask google:”Do cabin roofs blow off in 120 mph winds”- which is when I learned that I had lost power and with it any connection I had to the outside world. No cell phone. No internet. No electricity. No water. Just Fabs and God and some sheep on a hill (if they survived the storm).