Lent 16-20: discipline win

Well, if you’re paying attention you noticed that I certainly have NOT been posting daily.  In fact, it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out which day of Lent this is supposed to be.

There was a time when I would have called this (sort-of-jokingly and sort-of-not) a failure.

But those days are happily a thing of the past.

The goal of writing every day was two fold: (1) doing something me and Jesus both value – and doing it together.  (2) prioritizing something that is important to me (writing).  Prioritizing it today, instead of thinking that a magical time is around the corner when writing will just happen into my schedule.

Lent 7: tell the truth

Happy Day 7 of Lent. In the name of getting to bed at a reasonable time, I’m going to keep this short and sweet.

I think there’s a really simple, great thing we can do to promote love and intimacy in all our relationships: be honest about how you’re feeling.  Don’t feel like talking about something?  Just saying that sometimes makes talking possible.  Feeling weird and disconnected? Just saying that out loud sometimes sucks the distance right out of the relationship.

So tonight, for Day 7 of Lent, try it out with God.

The 2016 story of us

When I was 25 I dated a guy who loved it when I would tell him the story of us: how we met, what I felt then, when it changed, and he would interject, winding his version of the story into mine.

It’s one of my favorite past times: with coworkers, with friends, family.  Sharing first impressions, memories, shifting intimacy, growing connection: all of us telling our version of the story of us.  I do this with Jesus too.  Sometimes it’s the full epic version, and sometimes it’s the story of us that day or year.

Hello again.

Hello.

It’s been awhile.

Where have I been? Here. And a million miles away.  Sitting at my computer in coffee shops typing words I longed to shout from the rooftops. And curled up in my bed cowering in caverns of darkness and corners of fear.  Facing dragons I suppose I’ve been preparing to fight all my life – facing the rejection I was assured would not wait for me. Facing failure. Facing isolation. Facing me. Facing Him.

Words I thought I’d never share

Every now and then, I click the ‘drafts’ tab on my “ALL POSTS” page out of a desire to diminish the disturbing number of posts begun and never completed.  

My drafts folder is a graveyard of thoughts.  Thoughts that I never had the time to flesh out or thoughts that I lacked the discipline to fully birth. And sometimes among the words that never made it – I find a draft that I don’t even remember writing, but that still feels so achingly familiar to me somehow.