Spiders that eat people and spiritual warfare.

Things I don’t like include:

  • reading this morning that if all the spiders got together and decided to eat humans, they could eat us all within a year.
  • when Christians say they’re experiencing spiritual warfare when really they are having normal life problems.
  • when I start wondering if I’m experiencing spiritual warfare, but don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to be a Christian who says they’re experiencing spiritual warfare when really I’m just having normal life problems.

But I’ll tell ya this – in the days since I hit post on this women’s thing/in process collective situation – things ain’t been breezy.

When words won’t work

I thought I’d find the story here, at the edge of the world, looking out at the mountains and the ocean.  I thought I’d find out how all these words fit together.  All these words that are in me but refuse to be massaged into the whole. I know they belong together. I feel it in my soul, but I cannot for the life of me find the spine that would let them stand together, straight and strong.

They are disjointed, separate and yet full and fat in my soul.  Thoughts thrown on a page that so clearly connect in this mad mind of mine, but the connection is impossible to capture.  It dissolves each time I reach for it.

When words won’t work

“I wish you would write again!”

I hear that sometimes these days, at parties or when I bump into people in coffee shops.

Oh, the thought comes thick and fast in my mind with a little bit of an edge to it, I’m writing. 

I’m writing. Hours and hours of writing. Writing my thesis, writing blogs, writing stories, writing books.  Pouring words onto a page that I thought would be hard to find but are hard to hold back.  Trying to wrap words and narratives around these experiences that make up this thing we call life.

Lent 24-25: finals got me like…

I’m writing. Right now. I’ve just been studying, and I’m about to be studying, because I have finals next week and this ain’t the kind of content that I can master without some serious work.

Which leads to a thought I’ll share with you.

When I was young I never worked hard (or at all) in school and college.  I was almost proud of the way I wouldn’t work.

7 sneaky symptoms of shame

The more I study shame, the more convinced I become that basically everyone struggles with it.  And the more I study shame, the more apparent it becomes that while many of us have shame issues, very few of us are aware of that we have shame issues.

The nature of shame is that it longs to hide its nature.  Shame is ashamed of even itself. Very rarely does it make its presence known.  Instead, shame wraps itself up in other emotions, forcing you to play emotional Whac-A-Mole, keeping you engaged in a battle on one front while your opponent actually dwells somewhere else altogether.