Why do we suck at forgiveness?

I was watching a reality TV show last week and there was a woman on the episode who kept telling another woman she had forgiven her and that she loved her even though it was so obvious that she wanted nothing to do this woman because of what she had done.

I kept shaking my fist at the screen. I guess I’m a little bit weary of people confusing words with realities.  As if saying ‘I forgive you’ means we forgive someone.  As if saying “I love you” fulfills that command.

Well, when you say it like that…

Sometimes I feel like I would devote my whole life to destroying idolatry in myself and others.  But then other times I wonder, do I have an idol discrimination issue? Are there idols I hate and idols I’m willing to invite over for tea?

Here’s the litmus test for me today from the Word of God: do I want people to worship God even if it costs me my glory, even if it causes me discomfort?  Or am I willing to allow, even encourage others to serve idols if it benefits me?

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After Solomon’s rule, the people of God divide into two kingdoms, with two kings: Jeroboam and Rehoboam.

Jeroboam is thrilled about his new role as King.  The only problem he has is that the Temple, (where people can go to offer sacrifices to God), is in Rehoboam’s kingdom.  Jeroboam is nervous that if the people go back there to worship, then they might get ideas about returning and his time as king would be over. So, Jeroboam makes two calves of gold and he puts them up in his kingdom and he tells the people “Behold your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.”

Messed up, dude. Messed up.  Seriously, Jer.  You’re so concerned with your kingship, your glory, your interests that you would actually facilitate God’s people worshipping idols?

When you read this is sounds INSANE.  It is so clearly horrifically offensive to God and you can see the darkness of the human heart.  When you see a guy building golden calves for people to worship because he’s so insecure about his interests, it’s really clear that that’s pretty sinful.

And this is why I love the Old Testament. It’s full of stories that make you go: uh, what?? And then you realize that they’re this really clear external picture of what is going on internally in all of us.

Our New Testament lives are full of stories like this if we have eyes to see.

Sandra & Ted have two kiddos: Suzy and Lucy. Suzy is wrestling with what she believes. She often finds herself asks her parents ‘why’? with a genuine hunger the understand the heart behind the rules her parents give.  Sandra is often embarrassed by the questions Suzy asks and Ted is infuriated by them, viewing them as disrespectful.  Lucy, Suzy’s sister, on the other hand, worships her mom and dad.  She is desperate to please them and is terrified of their disappointment.  Sandra and Ted often joke about the convenience of her people-pleasing tendencies.  They point to Lucy as an example for Suzy. 
As for Ted and Sandra’s house, they will serve the approval of mom and dad because it makes their reign and rule a lot easier.

Joseph was working on a new book about finances.  He was thrilled at the content, convinced it was from God and could really help set people free from their love of money.  6 months before his book was to be released he saw a book in Barnes and Noble with the exact same content.  It was doing tremendously – on the best seller list – and everyone was raving about it. Every time he heard someone mention it he felt resentment bubble up in his heart.  Every time he heard another story of how someone was feeling free of their love of money, he was annoyed.   
Joseph would rather people worship the idol of money for an extra six months, than see them be set free through someone other than himself.

Bob often brags to the guys at work about his wife.  She puts his and the kids needs consistently first, always making sure everything gets done.  One night she confesses to him that she hasn’t spent time in the Word for months and she can’t remember the last time she felt close to God.  She is fearful that she is falling away from God.   Bob comforts and encourages her telling her she is the best wife and mom in the world and that God is really pleased with her service.  She doesn’t need to worry so much about that kind of stuff.  After all, isn’t loving one another fulfilling the whole law?  Isn’t caring for people well the only thing that really matters? 
Instead of being willing to do whatever it takes to help his wife prioritize her worship and intimacy with God, Bob is willing to watch her worship the idol of family as long as he benefits from her idolatry.

Well, when you say it like that…

3 reasons to give grace.

I recently did an interview for a girl who is considering going into ministry.  One of the questions she asked me was what do you wish you’d known about working for a church?  And the answer that came to mind was: I’d wish I’d known that coming on staff has a way of making some peoples’ grace dissolve.

I think back to the girl I was when I first started in full time ministry.  Mid-20’s.  Eager and arrogant.  Absolutely oblivious to the ways that her personality, mistakes, weaknesses and sins were going to hurt people. Oblivious to the punches she was going to take because of her personality, mistakes, weaknesses and sins.

Car stereos and gifted people

Here’s how I’ve spent a lot of time this week: thanking God in my car.

I like time in my car.  Mostly because my introvert self can curl up inside my music and crawl inside the worlds in my mind.

The music menu usually consists of musicals (the good ones), music that falls within my self-titled ‘Dawson’s genre’, and/or country.  The two recent exceptions have been: (a) when I have a toddler in tow or (b) when a friend releases a new album.

This week my car time has been cannibalized by the latter.  I’ve been listening to my buddy Jimmy’s new record and it has me thanking God for two reasons:

6 weapons to kill pride

Sneaky pride.

It messes everything up.

Pride is behind the anxiety I feel when I prepare to teach.  It urges me to meditate on how much I have to lose or gain.  Pride nudges me to plan more than I pray.  Pride prompts me to flinch in shame when someone talks about sin that hits a little too close to home.

Pride, whether it wears the mask of boasting or of self-deprecation, is constantly beckoning my heart to pull up a chair and watch a story-of-me unfold.consider others

Pride is a soul set on self.