Next 20 days of Advent | And not being believed.

Boy. I tell you what, today’s Advent really took it out of me.  If you’re receiving the daily emails, you might have noticed today’s was a tad delayed.

Today was the hardest one so far, but not in a bad way.  Sometimes a sense of responsibility and the weight of words settles over me and I can’t shake the sense that – this one – this one I want to get right.  This truth is too precious to me to share flippantly.

I don’t know what to say.  I am out of words.  I am humbled, amazed, stunned, leveled by our God who has come to us in the dark of night.

First Ten Days of Advent

Boy oh boy.  I don’t think I did the math right.  It turns out, a daily Advent devotional means that I have to send an Advent Devotional every single day!  Who knew??

Jk jk.

I had hoped to have all this written long ago, but honestly – I have been floored by the kindness of God.  He has met me each morning with the daily bread for that day.  The last Advent devotional I wrote was a LABOR of love.  It really felt like giving birth.  Maybe, because this is a second child – it is just coming a lot easier?  Or maybe Jesus is just being kind.

finding peace.

I woke up this morning feeling it in every part of my body.  The stress starts in the pit of my stomach and bubbles up through my vertebrae, infecting my muscles.

I honestly couldn’t tell you what I am stressed about.  Work has been busy, there are tasks unfinished with immovable deadlines, there are so many tops spinning that one is going to fall on my watch, but honestly – I’m no stranger (and some might say I even enjoy) the chaos of this kind of work.  I’m behind on projects desperately important to me (stay tuned for grief videos!), but agin, that’s nothing new.

Salty.

I’m not sorry for all the recent rants, but I do feel sorry for those around me who are trying to live normal lives and process normal things and can’t get through a simple conversation without some fire coming from me.

I’m restless you see.  As restless as this culture of ours, with its swelling waves.  If you will take a single step outside your normal spheres you will feel the water rising.  Tides are turning. and things are changing.  This world is restless, and so am I.