Twists & turns

There are curves up ahead; bends in this twisting turning road that is my life.

For the longest time, whenever I’ve looked ahead, all I have been able to see is the same straight path laid out before me.  The shifts in the trajectory of my life have come without warning: the sin struggles I never anticipated, the news of cancer and death.  While the shock of the unexpected brought its own level of wreckage and pain, it carried a grace: deliverance from the waiting and the wondering and the anticipation.

You’re not my real mom.

I have a friend who is working through the incredibly glorious and painful process of caring for a newly adopted daughter.

On the good days, she would tell you about the unspeakable joy that comes when the barriers of blood and DNA dissolve in the baptism of true family that comes through love.  On the hard days, she has to endure the incredibly violating pain of watching this little human look at her and reject her love as insufficient because of that DNA.  The oceans this mom has crossed, the scars she bears that declare her love and evidence her intention – all are dismissed as inadequate.


A friend has been challenging me in the discipline of thankfulness.

I’m thankful for that.

While I started slow, I’m beginning to have my eyes opened to all the grace around me.

And I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for sunlight, and the way it’s falling on the tables in this coffee shop even now.  For toddlers whose words are gloriously hard to understand.  IMG_0225

For leaders who are humble enough to change things and loving enough to care that change is hard.

Being Remade

Around 11 years ago, I sat down cross-legged in the middle of a room filled with thousands and thousands of college students at Soul Survivor in England.  I sat there – like a rock among their trees, their arms swaying like branches to the sounds of songs about a Man I had never met.

I faced a question in that moment: can I believe this?  The question was not ‘do I’?  It was ‘can I’?  Am I able? Is it possible for a rational thinking creature to submit to the belief that their mind is a faulty source of authority?

3 truths to hold on to this year

“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” – Johnny P.

I love that.

You know what I want out of 2013?  I want to trust God this year.  I want to trust Him with my dating life.  I want to trust Him with iphone issues.  I want to trust Him with my ministry, my to-do list, conflict in my community, my eating habits, car troubles, health issues, life and death.