I laid in bed last night and tried to open my heart to Him. I tried to tell Him what I was feeling and articulate what I was longing for or aching for but there was just this sadness. A weariness. So I closed my eyes and went to sleep banking on new mercies.
And here they are to meet me. Not in the way I would prefer, which is waking up feeling good and clear and excited about the week ahead.
I am writing my Thesis. Right now. Well. Not this second, but I was a few seconds ago, and I will be again in a few more seconds. But I’m taking this moment, to use words to help me remember to breathe and rest and not waste these last few days before I’ll hit send and wrap up my stint as a Masters student.
I’m writing this sitting at a bar in a diner. Next to me there is an older lady, drinking her coffee alone. She’s looking around, smiling gently at others, not desperate for conversation, but not avoiding it. She has nothing in her hands except her mug.
I, on the other hand, have a coffee, my phone, my kindle and my laptop all at my fingertips. All available. All ready to ease me out of any discomfort that might come from being here alone on Easter Sunday. What is it about us that is so uncomfortable at the thought of sitting, alone without distraction in a public setting. Fear of boredom? I think not. I think it’s fear of being uncomfortable, fear of embarrassment; shame.
Well, good day my friends.
You know what I’m thinking about today? Faithfulness. Being filled with faith. And how strange it is that we reduce that word to law keeping. Like – Joe is faithful. Meaning, Joe does what he says he’s going to and he doesn’t mess up. We can trust him to do what he says, because he’s faith-full.
What if being trustworthy is a fruit of faithfulness, but not faithfulness itself?
May they be secure who love you.
It’s a proverb and a prayer and a hope – thrown upwards to a God who hears.
But it’s also just a logical and obvious conclusion. Those who love you will be secure.
We want Your words to work like a magic spell: squeeze our eyes shut and say it over and over again until we feel secure. But Your words are – like you – unfailingly clear, crisp and perfect with no haze of sorcery around them. They are just the truth. Heaven sent to lead us.