Consider Jesus

For the hurting, for the suffering, for those in pain today: consider Jesus.

Consider Him who was by His nature exempt from all suffering, who entered into flesh and pain and death so that He could look at you today and say ‘I know.’  Consider Him who had access to any means of deliverance, (which you and I would gladly take in our pain), and yet He walked steadily into a pain beyond any we will ever experience.  Consider your great High priest who has born your sorrows.

For the failures and the flawed, for those who feel the burden and weight of shame today: consider Jesus.

I am not hard pressed

Raise your hand if you’re done with this whole life thing.

Raise your hand if you’re ready to be in the arms of your sweet Savior, away from the pain and suffering of this sinful and broken world. Raise your hand if you’re ready for a home where husbands don’t get shot, and 3 year olds aren’t taken out by tumors almost overnight, and friends don’t feel so alone that they take their own lives, and moms aren’t lying in hospital beds even now – destiny unknown.

Both hands up over here.

Things I forgot

I forgot all this.

I forgot that grief is not a linear experience.  I forgot that just as you think you’re at the finish line you’re really just at another starting line.

It goes round and round and some days in month 3 you wake up and find yourself in day one.  And everyone else in all the world works in a normal timeline where month 3 means month 3.  And it’s so exhausting and confusing: to try to understand how everyone can be okay when everything is so not okay.

And you feel left behind.Screen Shot 2014-02-27 at 10.37.33 AM

Inauthentic faith

I know I need to write a blog post.

I would say I even want to write a blog post.

But time and energy are two things that cannot seem to get in the same room at the same time right now.

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I have thoughts – whirling in my mind – thoughts about God and His righteousness and His goodness and His sovereign rule.  I have thoughts about grief and darkness and what it looks like to care for people in the middle of this mess of life.  I have thoughts about doubt and unbelief. I have thoughts about the Word of God; the sword of the Spirit that is an anchor to the soul when the waves wash over you with a force you never dreamed.

Places I cannot take you

I wish I could take you back there with me: kneeling on the floor in that studio as I listened to my friend defend the Gospel with a fierceness that I have rarely seen in her soft sweet spirit.

I wish I could explain to you how laughter blended with tears bubbled up as I spoke the deepest, most authentic words of my days, laying on the floor of a hotel and begging God to save the world.