We’re still in the early stages of this #rebuilding project, but already – as I learn to use my voice again – I am learning it isn’t fear that has controlled me. It’s the desire to belong.
I called it fear, but fear was just the symptom. Fear is a pretty normal reaction when you know the choice ahead of you seems impossible: be you or belong.
In Studio 60, Matt Albee says this:
“I didn’t say anything because I was scared and I’ve been scared for 5 weeks and that’s too long for a grown man.”
***
I understand.
I understand why Moses said no to a burning bush and the visible glory of God. And maybe it wasn’t because he didn’t trust God. And maybe it wasn’t because he didn’t believe God could do what He said He was going to do.
Maybe it was too much, too terrifying – to go back.