The Tuesday after December 5th, 2013 I drove with a friend up to our church offices to pick up a DVD I needed. It was late. Past midnight. But I needed that DVD for the memorial service that was happening later that week.
I walked into that office that night for the first time since hearing that my co-worker had been taken from us. I wanted to get in and get out, afraid of that place and the feelings it would force me to face. I knew the DVD was on the far side of the office in my mailbox, but I went straight for the cabinet by my desk. I knew there was something unspeakably precious to me in the top drawer: a scrap of paper with a joke written across it in sharpie.