When words won’t work

I thought I’d find the story here, at the edge of the world, looking out at the mountains and the ocean.  I thought I’d find out how all these words fit together.  All these words that are in me but refuse to be massaged into the whole. I know they belong together. I feel it in my soul, but I cannot for the life of me find the spine that would let them stand together, straight and strong.

They are disjointed, separate and yet full and fat in my soul.  Thoughts thrown on a page that so clearly connect in this mad mind of mine, but the connection is impossible to capture.  It dissolves each time I reach for it.

An end-of-the-year challenge

[My friends and I gave each other an assignment a few weeks ago: the task of writing a letter to a-year-younger version of ourselves, on the verge of 2017. So, below is the letter I would write to the woman who was me on December 31st, 2017.  She sat at her computer, much like I do now, planning and plotting for the year to come, and these are the words I would share with her.]

Dear Fabienne,

Happy New Year! Welp. You made it through 2016!

Reflect & refocus

It’s that time of year again!

Got a few tools for you this year.

  1. Below are some spiritual reflection questions I’ll be thinking through over the next few days.
  2. If you want the mega list of questions to reflect on you can find that here.
  3. I’ve developed a new workbook that will let you consider your goals in light of your values.  Sign up for me to email you the worksheets here.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

DECEMBER 26

What are the things God has used this past year to help you increase your enjoyment of Him?  What is one thing you can do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?  

Dreams and casting cares and classes

It’s been a few sleepless weeks (cause work), but it’s wrapped up with a few sleep-filled days (cause exhausted).

Last night was filled with chaotic dreams, images and words so haunting and real that I woke up disoriented, not sure what was fiction and what was fact.

I launched myself into my first week of ‘teaching’ again this morning, by leading a remote version of the class I’ll be teaching on Sunday nights (starting tonight! join!): grief. loss. disappointment.

Welp.

Welp.  The water looks cold and frigid, so I guess I’ll jump on in.

True story: when I stepped back from ministry it was a relief.  Don’t get me wrong, it coincided with one of the more painful chapters of my life, but there was also a sense of finally being free from the expectations and anticipation of rejection that inevitably come with standing at the front of a room and talking about your life & Jesus.

It’s been a while now, and every now and then people ask me – when will you teach again? Counsel again?