Cowardly fabs

This blog is called ‘thoughts from Fabs’.

I named it that because that’s what I wanted it to be: a place for ideas from my weird and self-professed faulty mind.

I am starting to learn though, that it doesn’t work that way with words.  Turns out, you can’t just throw out thoughts and theories and expect people to discern for themselves which ones you mean and which ones are pure speculation.

It’s a lot of pressure. How can I be sure that what I ‘mean’ today will be what I ‘mean’ in the years and days to come?

I cringe when I re-read old teaching notes, (from last week).  Imagine how I feel about blog posts written years ago?Screen Shot 2013-07-14 at 12.05.48 PM

It’s terrifying.  And it makes me a coward.  I become slow to type.  I stick to safe topics. I second guess my ideas and opinions.  What if I write something that I don’t mean?  What if someone misunderstands?  What if I’m wrong?  

I hate my inner coward.

But here’s the deal: I’m realizing it’s healthy to have a little fear about speaking thoughtlessly, as long as that fear leads you to the source of true courage.

In the middle of my inner coward, I have found the Spirit, living and active.  God means all for good.  Even in my fear, He is working to grow and mature me.

I’m impulsive and reckless. My inner coward is slowing me down in the name of doubt, but God is slowing me down to hear the Spirit’s questions of consideration; to hear His whisper of temperance and humility.  He is challenging me to prayerfully consider my words before I just throw them out as a life preserve when they have undergone no testing on their ability to sustain.

I’m embracing this new version of me, who refuses to type unless she’s guaranteed cover from the Scriptures.

My generation isn’t good at weighing words before we speak.

We communicate passionately. We profess opinions as if they’re fact.  I have so many thoughts and ideas that I feel 100% confident about.

What I want more than anything is for my generation to stop backing whichever side lines up most with our lifestyle.  I don’t want us to determine what’s right and true by testing it through the grid of what makes the most sense to us or what ‘feels’ right to us.

I want us to be a people who assume that our view might be wrong.  People who consider: maybe we have been more conformed to the pattern of the world than we ever dreamed, and maybe it is OUR mind that God needs to transform by the renewing in the Word.

I pray that we would find true courage – not in passion or blind rejection of different perspectives – but in inconvenient and confusing and glorious verses embraced by the Spirit in our hearts through faith.

I’ll go first.

There are several popular topics that have my soul befuddled.  These topics are everywhere; on every blog I open, and on every inch of my Facebook feed.

I don’t think I have all the answers, but over the next two days, I’ll do my best to share what I see in His Word, even when it’s confusing and hard about two of those specific topics.

Let’s do it.

Let’s talk about the ‘SH’ word and the ‘F’ word.

2 thoughts on “Cowardly fabs

  1. I first realized the extent that I just talk of the top of my head after reading Bonhoeffer’s bio and seeing all the thought, contemplation and study of the scripture he did before speaking! I am quick to believe others are wrong and never think that I am conformed to the world…………but looking at my actions and thought process, I am more than I thought.

  2. Pingback: The ‘SH’ word

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