A couple of months ago I ran across a short videoÂ called ‘Father-hunger’.
The video is really neat. Â Doug Wilson is urging dads to take their roles a little more seriously. Â All across America there are little girls growing up with absent fathers and the needs that are supposed to be met by theirÂ dads are being unmet. Â As a result they haveÂ this phantom appetite that leads them to seek satisfaction in other places.
I totally get that. Â Since my dad died I’ve become more and more aware of that gnawing hunger inside of me.
Turns out I haveÂ father hunger, (cue sad music.) Â You’ll get your invite for my pity party in the mail. Promise.
However, the other day I was watching Felicity. Â (I know that most good blog posts don’t include that sentence, but go with me here).
The show starts out with Felicity throwing her college plans away to follow a boy across the country. Â He doesn’t even remember her name. Â Ouch.
Felicity has father hunger. Â Which is weird, because the first frame of the show is her dad going nuts as she graduates from college. Â He is involved in her life. Â Sure, he’s not perfect, but he’s present and supportive.
That got me thinking: have I ever met someone without this ‘father hunger’? Â Have I ever met a girl whoÂ was fully secure?
I have a friend whose dad told her every day how proud he was of her for her personality. Â Neat. Â Except that now, when anyone thinks her personality isn’t shining, she panics. Â The constant affirmation of her dad convinced her that her personality was what made her special.
I know girls whose dad told them they were beautiful every day and they are now obsessed with their looks. Â I know girls whose dad never affirmed theirÂ beautyÂ and now…they’re obsessed with their looks.
At the end of the day, there doesn’t really seem to be any pattern. Â Pretty much every girl I know is insecure whether they had a perfect dad or an absent dad.
Disclaimer: I’m not discounting father hunger. Â I see how my life has been affected by my relationship with my dad. Â I have very real sin patterns that have been shaped by my past. Â But at the end of the day, we’re all
broken, we’re allÂ insecureÂ and we’re all sinners.
I think dads should love their daughters. I think they should tell them they love them. Â I think they shouldÂ do their best to help their girls find their security in Christ alone – not in their looks, orÂ intelligence, or grades or abilities.
I’m not letting dads off the hook. Â It is no small calling to be entrusted with the raising and stewardship of a child’s heart.