Guys, my pulse is racing as I type this. I am literally afraid to write the word sex.
No one talks to single women about sex. Maybe they’re scared that just saying the word ‘sex’ will cause singles everywhere to descend into a world of corruption? Or maybe it’s not just single women. Maybe none of us are talking about sex.
It just feels like we’re not supposed to say that word. Especially if we’re christian. And single. And women. (so I’m like a triple threat).
I don’t know. Here’s what I do know:
So, I’m sitting here now – a single, christian, woman – doing the unthinkable: talking about sex. And I think (and hope) that this honors God.
As I said yesterday God’s Word is filled with the truth that we are united with Christ - in His life and death. We are partakers of Him, of His glory. We get to share in His inheritance, and His blessing because we are in Him.
Don’t let that rush past you. It’s confusing. It’s crazy.
And it’s glorious.
Being ‘in’ Jesus doesn’t mean that we become like magical molecules dissolving into Him. We don’t lose our personhood in this union, but we do find ourselves entirely in Him. We become one, but we are still somehow separate from Him and fully ourselves.
God explains all that through His Word, and He adds an illustration: becoming one flesh.
When you contemplate the crazy way that sex makes two people literally become one while still maintaining their separate personhood, it all seems to add up.
Sex is the glorious punctuation of a covenant commitment where two people are joined in each other. More than holding hands or being close, they are interconnected and yet – still themselves.
Sex is such a weird way to reproduce that I honestly don’t know how to make sense of it unless I believe that God created it to illustrate what happens with us and Jesus. The glorious punctuation of His covenant is that we become one with Him without becoming obsolete. And this oneness begets life. It multiplies.
Can you imagine how believing all that could transform sex into worship?
I know it seems strange to think about God and sex in the same sentence, but I gotta say – I think the enemy won a huge victory the day he convinced us that those two things are to be kept separate.
By appealing to our fear of awkwardness or embarrassment, he has stolen from us the opportunity to use sex to help us grasp and reflect our union with christ.
And the consequences are tragic.
#1 Marriages are falling apart all over the place because we belittle sex.
If marriage exists to reflect God’s covenant with His people, then consider for a second – what does your sex life testify about that Covenant? Is our oneness with Jesus an extraneous bonus or is it integral glue?
Can you imagine how impossible our covenant with God would be if He didn’t come inside of us with His Spirit? (If not, read the Old Testament.)
#2 Lust is rampant.
We think sex is about pleasure, and partially it is, but it’s about the pleasure of reflecting the union we have in Christ. And that union is not casual or fickle.
Can you imagine Christ joining Himself to people just for a moment, without any sort of covenant commitment or promise of faithfulness? There are few things more horrifically out of sync with His character.
And far more troubling than any of that is this heartbreaking thought:
#3 Our distorted view of sex is a symptom of a distorted view of God.
If it makes us uncomfortable to think about God and sex together, maybe it’s because we’re actually uncomfortable with parts of our God.
Maybe we’re uncomfortable with is the consuming appetite He has for us that demands a nearness that connects us and unifies us in a way deeper than just touching. Maybe we’re uncomfortable with the vulnerability He commands in us and the tender fierceness with which He takes us inside Him. Maybe we’re scared of the consequences if we start to consider God as a God of pleasure; if we really believe the promise that in His presence there is pleasure forevermore.
Singles: every time your heart craves sex, refuse to settle for temporal physical satisfaction. Want more. Want God. Contemplate the depth of intimacy that your sweet Savior died to purchase for you. Display through your celibacy in singleness that God’s love does not offer union without covenant.
Marrieds: Let your sex life operate almost like communion: a physical representation of a spiritual reality reminding you of the mystery of our union in Christ. Display through your sex life that God’s love does not ask us to attempt covenant without union.
And may we all beg God to enlighten the eyes of our hearts to grasp the hope to which we’ve been called: the day when our spiritual union with Christ will become physical.