This is another post like yesterday’s: a mantra.
I keep telling myself just love Jesus. Â just love Jesus.Â Whatever happens today, I want to end this day loving Jesus.
It’s so easy to get distracted in ‘doing’.
Last night, I found myself with 20 minutes of unexpected down time. Â I was alone and I knew what I needed to do: I needed to go through my notes for the classes I’ll be teaching today and tomorrow.
I was about to get out my notes when I felt a quivering conviction in my soul: stop. There is something more important than being prepared. Â None of this matters and it is all surely in vain if I am not in love with Jesus at the end of the day.
Whatever else happens today, I want my heart for Jesus to be the number one priority. Â I don’t want to build this thing if He’s not in it. I don’t want to go anywhere without Him.
Who cares if I teach a great lesson if I am not in love with Him? Â Who cares if we get the binders organized perfectly and the ministry executed flawlessly but lose our souls in the process?
So often we think that ministry gives us a free pass, as if the only place where there’s a danger of getting consumed by ambition and gain is in the corporate world.
But in Scripture, I see some disturbing examples.
I see the church-minded folks standing before Jesus reminding Him of how the prophesied and served and did great works in His name and He says to them ‘depart from me, I never knew you’.
I see the church in Revelation that performed so many great things in His name but gosh, somewhere along the way they have forgotten their first love: Jesus.
I see my own apathetic and distracted heart. I see the way that my longing for glory lurks toÂ cannibalize my desire to sit quietly at His feet to the point that when I have 20 minutes it is a fight to spend it in prayer rather than further prep.
I want to prepare well. I want to teach well. I want to be faithful to steward the calling I have been given, but I know that I was never asked to do that at the expense of my affection for Christ. Â More than that, I know that I will neverÂ be ableÂ to prepare, teach and be faithful without any affection for Christ. My ability to be faithful with this calling is directly connected to my faithfulness to my first love.
And the same is true for you. Â I know it feels like a million things matter today, trust me – I know. Â But really – honestly – loving God – trusting in the blood of our Jesus – believing on all that has been purchased for you: that is what matters. And every other calling on your life – all valid and all real – will only be possible to steward well if you are grounded in trust and love for Jesus.
And no one, but the Spirit of the living God, can breathe that love and trust into me.
I could quit my job, I could live in a cave, but even if I never faced a distraction again, I would be no closer to where I want to be at the end of today. Â I cannot save myself. Â I cannot manage my world enough to save my heart.
I need a Savior.
And like a trust fall, I will tilt my body backwards into His arms, even before my heart feels confident in Him.
I will teach tonight. Â If I tarry, till my heart feels perfectly ready, I will never speak at all.
So I will trust my Savior by believing that He is saving me in this moment and will be saving me tonight and saving me every moment in between.
I will trust Him that whatever happens today – He will let me be singing when the evening comes.