(Okay. I’m a day behind. But who is counting??)
My job is keeping me busy this weekend, but I’m learning a lot and I’m thankful to have a job that keeps me busy. And, also, I’m busy.
I’m not sure what to write about. I have a lot of thoughts on my mind.
Mostly thinking about culture (since it’s what I’m getting my MSc in), and how great I am at adapting but how bad I am at belonging.
I’m what is called (in the psychological world) and ATCK. An Adult Third Culture Kid. It is a child who is moved during developmental years; raised for multiple years in a country other than their parent’s passport country. The impact of being asked to ‘belong’ in multiple cultures leads to things. It leads to superpowers like adaptability and the ability to put people at ease no matter how different. It leads to never treating or even feeling like others are ‘outsiders.’ And it leads to challenges like unresolved grief, and identity confusion and always feeling a little out of place. It leads to a feeling that I have named ‘homesickness’ which is a vague sense of nausea that is actually just feeling disconnected; feeling like you don’t quite belong.
This weekend I feel a lot of that feeling.
It’s okay. I’ve learned how to deal with it. I’ve learned to tolerate the feeling, and accept it. I’ve learned to breathe deeply and remember, I do belong. I’ve learned to push my roots deeper and ask them to give me the flexibility to move with the direction the wind is blowing in, without fear of being uprooted – not motivated by a desire to conform in order to belong, but out of an overflow of confidence that I do belong.
(BTW – this post is not related to Lent. But that’s what is on my mind. So there you go.)
Genuine question that I’d like a genuine answer to:
- Does anyone else struggle with this?? (a feeling of not belonging??)
- How do you manage it?