I had a thought the other day while I was driving. I’ve been sitting on it for a few weeks now and I think it has actually proved to be sort of transforming. It’s an obvious thought. Nothing radical or profound about it. But I’m going to do my best to wrap words around it in case it’s helpful for you:
Today is as magical as it gets.
I’ve got this ache inside of me for the next thing. It’s tangled up inside this weird idea I have that there is something coming that is going to make life feel…magical.
You get it right? Most of us live life in waiting for the magic of a moment held captive by tomorrow; the magic of a wedding or a child or whatever it is.
But it occurred to me that once tomorrow arrives, it will feel just like today. Whatever tomorrow holds is going to feel no more dramatic or special or magical than today. Maybe for a fleeting moment it will feel like am movie, but then the lights will go down, and life will set in and it will all just feel…like life.
Which isn’t bad, you know? It’s just life.
I think most of my joy in life is robbed by comparing today to tomorrow. I suffer from future-nostalgia.
I am not a fan of nostalgia. I’m convinced it is a tool of Satan to distract us from what’s real. Nostalgia is not just remembering, it’s coloring your memory in with romantic crayons. It’s a sentimental longing. And I have that for the future. I have a sentimental longing for the magical moments that I’m convinced are just around corner.
Here’s my theory: I was created with a future-nostalgia function inside of me. God made me to long for magical moments. Only problem is, it’s gone wrong. It’s malfunctioning. Someone has switched a setting (likely me) and it’s set on the wrong target now. I’m longing for magic this side of Heaven when I was made to long for the magic of Heaven.
I told Him last week in Church in the quietness of my own heart: You’re the magic for me. You’re what I’m waiting for.
It made my heart happy: to tell Him that I know that. In my heart. He is the magic I’m waiting for.
Every day till He comes back is going to feel like life. Some days will be happy days and some will be sadder than others, but all of it will just be…life.
And that’s okay. Because there is magic coming. He is coming.
And somehow, knowing that tomorrow isn’t going to be more magical than today, makes today more magical.