[This is the first day of my 7in7 that I’ve finished my post before 11:00 PM! YAYYY!!]
C.S. Lewis has a book called The Four Loves where he walks through the different types of affections and feelings that humans have for one another.
So, I figured that in honor of V-day I would write about all the affections and feelings I have experienced in my life thus far.
1. Angsty love.
It’s sick, but I’m sort of addicted to this feeling.
It’s not really love of course. It’s actually hunger. It’s a consuming appetite – not even for the object of your affection, but more – a consuming appetite for the object of your affection to want you. It’s a hunger to be worshipped.
Angsty love is a fickle friend. One moment it’s delicious and consuming, and then it shifts in a second and it drops out from under you and you are left empty and alone.
It’s terrifyingly dangerous, but it feels safe because I get to control the pain. With angsty love I don’t have to live in the fear of being blindsided by rejection, because rejection is the starting point. It’s like immersion therapy. I fear rejection so much, that I’m convinced, if I can just live in it, I’ll be okay.
2. Full heart love.
I don’t know how else to describe this kind of love except to say that when I feel it, my heart feels like it might break it’s so full.
It happened to me a lot today actually. I kept finding myself overwhelmed just thinking about the people in my life and how gracious God has been to give me them. I couldn’t even work, because I kept thinking about how much I love the way God has made my people.
Full heart love feels like God has pulled back the veil, and for a moment you get to see people the way He does. I love it.
3. Obedient love.
This is the feeling I have for the people that I’m supposed to love. Generally, these are people I don’t know as well.
And I love them. I do. But it’s different. It’s more of a trust and love for God inside of them and it’s generally displayed in action rather than emotion for me.
4. The best kind of love.
I get a little annoyed when I hear people who have kids or spouses tell me that I ‘haven’t experienced love like the love of a parent’.
I get annoyed (a) because I’m insecure and thus defensive and (b) because it’s an unbiblical concept.
Jesus says that the love we have for Him should make all other love look like hate. So that means that there is no love like the love His kids have for Him through His Spirit. If you’ve experienced one of those glorious moments where you actually love Jesus – even just for a split second – you know that there’s no love like it.
The best kind of love, the Jesus love, it makes EVERYTHING in your life okay. When you’re really grasping it (which happens to me like once a month MAYBE), it makes all your love, even the obedient love feel like Full Heart love.
There’s no love like His. And the moments when I love Him back: those are my favorite. They remind me of Heaven, and how great it’s going to be. To love without angst.