[I wrote this a while back on a particularly crazy day and – ironically – I never had the time to post it.
I’m not sure it even makes sense now, but I’m hoping that today is the day that one of you out there needs to hear that now is the time.]
It’s now, when somewhere between my throat and my belly button there’s this swarm of anxiety gaining momentum…
It’s now, when I am behind on everything and panicky and desperate…
It’s now, when I’m scraping my fingernails down my life, trying to find something to grasp onto that will save…
It’s now, when I’m wildley looking around for someone who will steady me, meet me in loneliness, who will offer to let me curl up inside of their strength…
It’s now, that I touch the curves of Your face.
I feel all the theology in my head drop into my heart.
I experience that You are mighty to save.
I stand – one shaky foot at a time – on You and You alone.
It’s now that I learn you are the only real savior for me. You are not just a blanket to wrap around my life – a precaution to help me brace for impact. You are not just a safety net for the days I stumble and fall.
You are my breath and my self and my ground and anchor and life.
It’s now that my Gospel is revealed practical as well as intellectual.
It’s now that I testify (through tears if necessary) that my God is comforter and sustainer and sovereign Lord – as well as Savior.