Lent 8: thoughts on women

Lent 8 on March 8 which is International Women’s Day.

I have lots of thoughts on this.  And they’re sort of bubbly and frothy in my mouth, so I’m trying to take a deep breath and speak slowly.

I grew up in a female-empowered family. I thank God for that. I was always told I could be anything I want to be.  Much to the shame of my feminist father, I wanted to be a Princess and I wanted to wear pink fluffy dresses and I think I sometimes I felt like that was dangerous; like I was letting women down.

Lent 7: tell the truth

Happy Day 7 of Lent. In the name of getting to bed at a reasonable time, I’m going to keep this short and sweet.

I think there’s a really simple, great thing we can do to promote love and intimacy in all our relationships: be honest about how you’re feeling.  Don’t feel like talking about something?  Just saying that sometimes makes talking possible.  Feeling weird and disconnected? Just saying that out loud sometimes sucks the distance right out of the relationship.

So tonight, for Day 7 of Lent, try it out with God.

Lent 6: disappointment that binds

All this talk of disappointment.  How come?  What does it have to do with Lent or even the love thing I first was writing about.

Maybe not much for you, but as I said in the beginning, this Lenten journey is about me and Him and disappointment does have a thing or two to do with me and Him these days.

See, I’m usually the fastest to bounce back from disappointment, but for the first time am feeling its lingering effects.  Normally I am crushed and then rebound, but this time around I am seeing it: I am noticing a heart withdraw, withhold in a way that is new for me.  I’m seeing it in my relationships with people and with God, and so, this is a thing for us this Lenten season.

Lent 5: dealing with disappointment

If I were to answer yesterday’s Lent questions, the answers would fill many pages.

I had a roommate once who had a tendency to kill people in her heart. That’s what we would call it.  When someone caught her off guard, disappointed her, she would have to fight the instinct to just cut them off and be done.  Which was hard to fight, because she could do it. Amputate the pain and the relationship in the blink of an eye and move on.  A far more effective coping mechanism than mine at the time.  We used to talk about this sneaky and annoying enduring optimist crouching inside of me, who – no matter how I told her the truth of her foolishness, she would still hold out hope, still fight, still stay.

Lent 4: a threat to love

So many thoughts running in my head today.  These thoughts are definitely just that. Thoughts. Not answers, not conclusions, (how very postmodern of me).

I’ve been thinking today about the complicated relationship between love and disappointment. I’ve been wondering if we’re sabotaging the components of healthy relationships – intimacy, passion & commitment – with our fear of disappointment.

Please note: it is not disappointment that I see sabotaging healthy components, but rather, the fear of disappointment.