I hear from God

We offer a class at my church called ‘hearing from God’.  I hate it.  Wait, I should say that differently: I love it. I helped write the content. I teach in it occasionally.

But I hate it because I am always the girl who stands in front of the room and points out the irony: I’m teaching on this?? I’m TERRIBLE at hearing from God.Screen Shot 2014-03-13 at 2.09.13 PM

I have ‘heard’ from God about the man I’m going to marry.  Three times.

I have ‘heard’ from God I should stay working in a software company instead of full-time ministry. I work for a church. 

Things I forgot

I forgot all this.

I forgot that grief is not a linear experience.  I forgot that just as you think you’re at the finish line you’re really just at another starting line.

It goes round and round and some days in month 3 you wake up and find yourself in day one.  And everyone else in all the world works in a normal timeline where month 3 means month 3.  And it’s so exhausting and confusing: to try to understand how everyone can be okay when everything is so not okay.

And you feel left behind.Screen Shot 2014-02-27 at 10.37.33 AM

The right refuge

So thankful to all those God gave to help me prep and to pray for Him to move on Tuesday night during my time with the women from Breakaway.

Romans 1:11-12 kept ringing in my head as I drove to College Station on Tuesday.

For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine. (Romans 1:11-12, ESV)

3 things to do this Valentine’s Day

I love Valentine’s Day.  Thanks to my dad and to sweet friends growing up I always associated V-Day with expressing love to those you love, (and not just romantically). Screen Shot 2014-02-14 at 2.42.17 PM

But everyone has a different Valentine’s Day experience.  With that in mind, here are three things I’m trying to do as I navigate today:

(1) Give grace.

Give grace to people who hate V-day.  Give grace to people who love it.  No one is trying to personally diminish your singleness by going on a date tonight.  No one is trying to devalue marriage with their skepticism about February 14.

Worship God by sleeping

Thursday night was one of those nights.

You know the kind.  Racing pulse and mind snowballing at a terrifying speed: replaying past events and planning for future ones.Screen Shot 2014-02-09 at 6.17.01 PM

I texted a friend in a panic:

Everything feels so out of control.

And the response came:

Get some sleep.

My first instinct was to push back.  How could I sleep right now?  Do you even know what hangs in the balance?  I have to DO something!