Don’t do God any favors

What a week. What a month. What a decade.

The theme of the past ten years of my life has been loss.  Losing relationships, losing dreams, losing parents, losing friends, losing health.  And this isn’t a sad post, because in every loss there has been great gain.  Loss has hollowed out channels in my heart for grace to flood in with truth and leave in its wake new life.

Loss has forced me to hold up the people and the things I love with open hands and offer them to the Person I love most.  Sometimes I have sacrificed them to Him with joy and peace, and sometimes its felt like they were torn from my clenched hands.

I believe in fairytale love.

We all stood there. Faces upturned. Watching explosions of color across the sky, which is honestly nothing more than light and sound around a pile of rocks, yet all of us stood and watched in awe.  Not just the kids, but grown ups too.  Though we have been kicked out of Neverland and transformed into CEO’s and parents and tax paying adults, we all still stood staring at the sky.

And I couldn’t ignore the pull on my heart.  The pull towards Heaven.

God-hunger

I like the Snickers commercials. The premise is that you’re not yourself when you’re hungry. You behave like a totally different person and you have no idea why. Then you get food and realize: oh! I was just hungry!  

When I was a kid I remember every time I would get upset about something my family would exchange glances and ask one another when was the last time I ate. I have learned to spot my signs of hunger. Irritability, mental confusion, shakiness are all symptoms that prompt me to check my stomach and consider whether or not I might need food.

Too many posts

There are too many posts I want to write today.

I want to write a post about how today proves how wrong we can be about the story. We can feel like it’s all over.  Every sense and all our logic can conspire to convince us that Satan has won.  We can look around and seemingly see evidence that failure has overcome fight and darkness has dissolved the light and despair has cannibalized hope. And we can be wrong. What looks and feels like the end might actually be the beginning. The days that are darkest might prove in time to be the days of greatest light.