Worshipping pipes

No matter how you look at it, when you turn the faucet on, the water runs through the pipes.

The water is different from the pipes.  We are kept alive by the water.  We get it through the pipes.

I’m sure that distinction (the by vs. the through) doesn’t feel important.  But I have this theory that the brokenenss around you, your own sin, even the Fall of Mankind – are all linked to our inability to distinguish the through and the by.  IMG_0266


A friend has been challenging me in the discipline of thankfulness.

I’m thankful for that.

While I started slow, I’m beginning to have my eyes opened to all the grace around me.

And I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for sunlight, and the way it’s falling on the tables in this coffee shop even now.  For toddlers whose words are gloriously hard to understand.  IMG_0225

For leaders who are humble enough to change things and loving enough to care that change is hard.

I am not hard pressed

Raise your hand if you’re done with this whole life thing.

Raise your hand if you’re ready to be in the arms of your sweet Savior, away from the pain and suffering of this sinful and broken world. Raise your hand if you’re ready for a home where husbands don’t get shot, and 3 year olds aren’t taken out by tumors almost overnight, and friends don’t feel so alone that they take their own lives, and moms aren’t lying in hospital beds even now – destiny unknown.

Both hands up over here.

I hear from God

We offer a class at my church called ‘hearing from God’.  I hate it.  Wait, I should say that differently: I love it. I helped write the content. I teach in it occasionally.

But I hate it because I am always the girl who stands in front of the room and points out the irony: I’m teaching on this?? I’m TERRIBLE at hearing from God.Screen Shot 2014-03-13 at 2.09.13 PM

I have ‘heard’ from God about the man I’m going to marry.  Three times.

I have ‘heard’ from God I should stay working in a software company instead of full-time ministry. I work for a church. 

Things I forgot

I forgot all this.

I forgot that grief is not a linear experience.  I forgot that just as you think you’re at the finish line you’re really just at another starting line.

It goes round and round and some days in month 3 you wake up and find yourself in day one.  And everyone else in all the world works in a normal timeline where month 3 means month 3.  And it’s so exhausting and confusing: to try to understand how everyone can be okay when everything is so not okay.

And you feel left behind.Screen Shot 2014-02-27 at 10.37.33 AM