Happy V-day, my loves!
I love today. I have always loved Valentines’ Day. Much thanks to my mom, dad, BFF Andrea for always making me feel so loved on this day. Because of them, I have always believed V day is for singles, as much as couples.
But I’ll tell you what, single people – more than we need to redeem Valentines’ day – we need to redeem love.
Love isn’t ‘better’ or more ‘precious’ between romantic partners. That’s a conspiracy of culture – both church and secular. It’s a conspiracy whispered in our words: in the way we say we want to be ‘more’ than friends with someone as if romantic relationships are innately better. It’s in the way we post about our #forevevalentine spouse – as if we haven’t heard Jesus say that we will neither marry nor be married in Heaven. It’s in the way we preach from the pulpit that God has ordained we prioritize our people in this order: God, spouse, kids, family, friends. (Bonus points if you can show me that framework in the Bible.)
“Blood is thicker than water”. – ever heard that? The actual quote is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,” and people say it came from the story of David and Jonathan – forming a covenant between one another.
Covenants sometimes involve prioritizing certain relationships, but spoiler, the main examples we see of those in the bible are between friends. Ruth bound herself to Naomi, beyond the typical marriage vows of ‘death do us part’. She made a commitment to Naomi that was greater than the one we would presume she make to Boaz.
Single people, know this: it is not God who has decreed that you be last on the list of priorities. It is not God who has decreed that singleness means no one binds themselves to you, no one promises to partner with you. That ain’t singleness in the Bible. And maybe that discrepancy is why it is so hard to understand that God would call singleness “good.” Maybe it’s because His version of singleness doesn’t involve the de-prioritization, the isolation, and the partner-less life that our version of singleness does.
Love comes in many different forms, and they are precious in their distinction, but the distinction doesn’t denote prioritization. American culture loves to rank, but God has a way of calling things special without ranking. I am special to Him. That doesn’t mean He loves you more. It means I’m unique. Irreplaceable.
My love for my friend Ashley is special. Distinct. It cannot be replaced or circumvented or edged out by the love I have for my mom. Or my friend Clara. Or any potential mate.
So, single pals – enjoy the distinct types of love God has given you to experience. Celebrate them. And receive the distinct ways you are loved. And if you cannot think of any people you feel truly loved by, know this – the people thing is just to help your brain understand the heavenly reality.
If that sounds like a platitude today, then take hold of Him with both hands and demand – like Jacob – that He reveals Himself. Refuse to let go until He blesses you with a glimpse of the fullness of His love.