Snags in the heart.

True story: I just had put my head down right at my work desk and ask for help because I am so distracted. I can feel a snag in my heart, and I’m not strong enough to unhook it from what it’s caught on.

Turns out, today is not going to be the day when I graduate from my need for a savior.

Here’s the snag:  I’m feeling like I could devote myself with an undivided heart to seeking the kingdom of God if He would just give me what I feel like I want/need.

As soon as I have xyz, then I will seek God’s kingdom with an undivided heart.

Sneaky Satan.

God says: seek first my kingdom and all that you need will be added. And sneaky satan twists His words, just as he has been doing since the beginning of time.  He whispers to me: you could seek His kingdom if he would just give you that one thing….

Satan doesn’t come at us with lies like: God’s kingdom is stupid!  Instead, we end up hearing things like:

  • I will seek God’s kingdom as soon as I finish my to-do list.
  • I will seek God’s kingdom with all my heart once the kids are back at school.
  • I will seek God’s kingdom with all my heart once my kids graduate from high school.
  • I will seek Gods’ kingdom with all my heart once I’m married.
  • I will seek God’s kingdom with all my heart once I have a different job, a better house, am in a different neighborhood.

How does he do it?  How does he convince us that these things are anything other than direct contradictions to God’s word?

The time to seek Gods’ kingdom is today and the obstacles that seemingly stand in our way are actually opportunities:

They are opportunities to demonstrate that we trust God.  On the days when you feel like you have everything you need, it is not hard to believe that if you seek God’s kingdom, He will provide for you.

It’s only hard to believe this promise when you don’t think you have everything you need.  Then it takes a very real and very dangerous act of faith to pursue His kingdom instead of your needs.

They are opportunities to demonstrate the value of the Kingdom of God.  When I have these obstacles – these very real things that I feel like I need – I get the opportunity to testify to the whole world that I value the Kingdom of God more than anything in the world.

The honest truth is, I want something more today than I want His kingdom.  Sigh.

They are opportunities to lean into a savior. Let’s say I woke up tomorrow and was in that next magical season that I think will make it so much easier to seek His Kingdom.  And let’s say it worked: let’s say it was suddenly a lot easier to seek the Kingdom of God with all my heart.

If that happened, I would no longer have the opportunity to point to Jesus as the ONLY means of my peace and joy.  I would have something else that might be able to explain why I spend myself on Him.

And others would be able to fuel their own lies: well, of course Fabs is able to spend herself for the kingdom.  She has that thing that makes that easier.  

But now – today – while that thing that we feel like we need is just out of reach, we have this limited time opportunity to lean into our Savior.  Today, while we are still feeling a lack, there is nothing to explain our wholehearted pursuit of  His kingdom apart from the fact that we have a sweet and great savior who satisfies our souls.

May God unsnag my heart today.  May He give me the faith to seek first His kingdom trusting that all else will be added.

And until that happens, may I exploit this snag to display my deep trust and love for Him.

4 thoughts on “Snags in the heart.

  1. truth my friend. i was fighting this just a couple nights ago. crazy how fast the lies came flying in. grateful for our ever present savior, full of light and truth.

    ‘Today, while we are still feeling a lack, there is nothing to explain our wholehearted pursuit of His kingdom apart from the fact that we have a sweet and great savior who satisfies our souls.’ ……yes.

  2. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. I feel a snag in my heart too and I pray that God would free my heart to love Him and pursue Him wholeheartedly and fully believe that the need is for ONE, Him. Thanks again Fabs for blessing my life.

  3. So honest and so true. I appreciate raw honesty and authenticity you put in your post, Fabs. Praying for you (and myself) today to seek first His Kingdom and not mine…

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