On Sunday after one of my classes, a student came up to me with a question. She had been told by a Christian counselor that masturbation was not a sin. She’d heard teaching on sex within the Church, but she’d never heard anyone address that specific issue. She just wanted to know if her counselor was right.
That makes my heart feel tense. I made her a commitment right then and there that I would write a blog post on the topic this week. (A commitment I’m regretting right now, because I’m already embarrassed that I wrote the word ‘masturbation.’)
Seriously though, why is it that basically every girl I talk to has struggled with the ‘m’ word but no one will say it? Why is it that 1/3 of all the folks who visit sexually explicit sites are women, but all of our illustrations are still about men? Why is it that almost 40% of the women who read Christianity Today struggle with porn, but I still have to title this blog the ‘m’ word because I feel so freaking weird typing the word ‘masturbation’?
Satan wants to keep us isolated and uncomfortable speaking clearly and openly about our struggles. He wants to convince women who struggle with lust that they are freaks.
Here’s the thought that made my heart tense up while my student was talking: what if women all across the world are engaging in sinful behavior because no one is willing to clarify that ‘sexual sin’ includes masturbation? What if there are women who are ignorantly selling themselves into slavery to sin right now because I’m too concerned with my reputation to type the word ‘masturbation’. Ick.
So, for those who want to know what the Bible says about the ‘M’ word. Here’s the answer: it’s sin. There are a million reasons why I say so that so emphatically; here are two:
1. Everything that is not from faith is sin. Paul makes it clear in Romans that every single detail of every single day that we don’t spend worshiping God is sin. We have to stop asking: is God against this, and start asking: is this the best way I can think of to honor God.
The Bible says that any thought, feeling or emotion that doesn’t flow out of a heart that is trusting in God and seeking to honor Him is sin.
If you want to know if the ‘m’ word falls in that category, just ask yourself this: is it an act of worship, flowing out of a mind fixed on eternity? Is it the best way you can think of to demonstrate that you trust and believe in God’s promises?
Does masturbation testify true things about God?
2. If we’re testifying lies about Christ, we are in sin. If we believe that marriage is designed to reflect the Covenant between Christ and the church, what are we displaying about that Covenant when we yield to the ‘m’ word? We’re the ‘church’ in this play. Do you we want to testify that the church doesn’t need Christ to be satisfied? That the church will take care of its own needs?
For 400 years the people of God lived in a period of waiting and longing. They wanted the Messiah. They wanted to see Him and be satisfied. They had a need that is far more essential than an orgasm, and they had no way to meet it. In singleness we get the opportunity to reflect that stage of life in the Church. Will we use this opportunity to testify true things about Christ and His bride?
He is worth the wait. He is worth the hunger.
Fabs, I’ve been reading your blog since this fall, and your post about what comes after sexual sin was part of what gave me the strength to speak a group of high school girls a few weeks ago about masturbation.
And you are right, it is an unreasonably difficult word to write, let alone say! It’s true that keeping this sin in the dark only feeds its power, while bringing it into the light exposes it for what it is: something that, whatever relief it may promise, certainly doesn’t bring freedom, or joy, or glory to God. Thanks for your willingness to address it here, and for your reminder that singleness allows us to enact the church’s longing for Christ.
Thanks for that encouragement! Here is the link to the post Anne is referring to! And here’s another resource for fighting sexual sin!
THANK YOU for speaking up on this topic. I began exploring this issue for myself a few years back asking the Lord “is masturbation a sin?”. (wow, you’re right, why is that word hard to say?) The answer for me in my life was YES it is, but like most things dealing with sin, truth gets scewed easily and it’s hard to monitor when it doesn’t say it black and white in the word “you must not masturbate”.
Thank you for the post because it has given more confirmation, backing up what the Lord spoke to me years ago and the courage to keep pressing forward in sexual purity.
“What if there are women who are ignorantly selling themselves into slavery to sin right now because I’m too concerned with my reputation to type the word ‘masturbation’. Ick.”
Reason #413 why I love you.
I am SO grateful that I know someone who would rather type the word “masturbation” than wake up tomorrow knowing she passed on an opportunity to tell women the truth!
He is so worth it.
Thank you!!!
I love yoooou!
We have to be willing to be real and to discuss the hard stuff.
We have to shine light into the darkness… I wrote on this subject not long ago, http://www.nicolelhvaughn.com/?p=1075
The two ways in which you explained why masturbation is a sin are both excellent. I’m sorry there’s so much supposed confusion about whether this is wrong in God’s sight, but you shine a clear light on the issue. Thank you. Keep speaking up for truth.
I saw the below quote on twitter. I have to say that I thank you for spurring revelation, freedom, and bravery with this post. The below tweet proves your point.
@UberFacts: The word “masturbation” comes from the Latin word meaning “to pollute oneself.”
HELL TO THE YEAH!!!!! Finally SOMEONE spoke up…I’ve been saying this for years and I hope and pray more women would be able to say “the ‘m’ word” ….if a word carries so much power over people, just imagine how much control the act has.
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS!!!