I have started three different blog posts this morning, but this is the one that I want to write.
It’s not theological. It’s not deep and it’s not raw. It’s just true.
I really tried to write the post I am ‘supposed’ to write: a post about what I’m learning about God or a post about what I’m processing about life and love. And I promise – I will write those posts.
But this morning I can’t stop thinking about the object of my affection long enough to write about anything else. I’m obsessed. I am in love: with words.
Man. Do you ever think about how crazy language is? Do you ever think about how phenomenal it is that I can move my mouth and make a sound and you can know my very soul?
I can communicate. I can be known because of words.
I long to be a better wordsmith. I long to curve and cradle the language we speak in such a way that I can use it to be known more fully – more deeply. I long to find the right words to get you to see the very depths of my soul and for us to reassure one another that what is there is real and true.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the past couple of months trying to figure out who I am. I want to know what things I genuinely love and what things I’ve just become interested in so that I can fit in.
The reason I can’t get my love for words off my mind this morning is because it’s one of the things I know is true about myself. I know I didn’t learn to love words to please anyone else. I remember the moment they came alive for me: a night curled up in the dark with an author who knew how to steward them in a way I have never encountered. And after that night – words were mine.
I’m not the writer I long to be. So much of the time I have to use words I do not like so that I can best communicate. Sometimes the word you like best isn’t the right word. Saying ‘I am sad’ enables you to hear me better than describing the crashing waves of doubt and fear that are all around me.
Sometimes simplicity is all that is needed. In a desire to be known I have to table the more beautiful word to use the more functional or accurate word. But know this – behind every short paragraph and every simple sentence is a heart that loves the poetry and sound of language and the way that words have the power to engage every sense. Words are not limited to engaging sight. You see them on the page, but you hear them as well. Words can make you taste and smell and feel.
It’s wrong to say that I didn’t learn to love words from Someone else. I love words because of our Heavenly Father. He loves words too. I know that because He chose to be known through language.
He chose to tell me who He is through His Word. He made it so that when I hear words like ‘steadfast’, ‘love’, or ‘justice’, they would hold weight in my very soul because they are words that He has used to be revealed.
My mouth, which is used for evil most minutes of most days, can wrap around His personal name. He has let His very nature be translated by a human sound.