Val’s Day 3: Would you Rather

How about a little game of Would You Rather? (Valentine’s Edition!)

I am not going to explain how this works. If the titledoesn’t give you enough clarity to play then you should go entertain yourself with a word scrambler or one of those handheld games where you have to navigate a tiny bead through a maze. You’ll have more fun doing that anyway.

For those that want to play just know it is the traditional game with a couple V-day twists. Ready?

Would you rather…

Be with someone on this holiday but everything they want to do to celebrate involves giant heart balloons, teddy bears wearing tuxedos, and matching flashing ‘I Love You’ buttons to be worn in public. They would also prefer to only communicate with you by singing lyrics from 90’s love anthems for the entire night.


Not be with someone for Valentine’s Day but make a fortune selling all the novelty crap to the seemingly overwhelming number of peoplethat happily spend their money on it.

Would you rather…

Work at the busiest Valentine’s restaurant in the city where you will make tons of cash – but all the patrons are people you have seriously dated in the past and that dumped you, tragically. Also, they are all getting engaged this night, at your table. And, to top it all off, they asked that you present the ring hidden in some sort of gross gelatin dessert as you sing Endless Love. But, don’t forget, you can really make the Benjamins with this gig.


Work at a different restaurant that is almost as busy – but all of the patrons are people that YOU dumped in the past. All the way back to elementary school. And they are all the biggest weirdos in the land now. All of them have asked for tables for 1 and plan to spend the entire night trying to win you back with terrible love poems, pictures of when you used to date and wore head-gear, and by blaring songs you swayed to at school dances from the boombox on their shoulders. Also, you don’t make as much cash with this one.

Would you rather…

Be seriously dating someone for a very long time who completely forgets to plan something for Valentine’s Day and ends up trying to make up for it by cooking you dinner – except he doesn’t have great culinary skills (or a brain) so he throws some Spam in a skillet and pulls out some Lime-a-Rita to wash it down. He isn’t the classiest guy in town but hey, with that diet – he won’t be around too long.


You agree to go on a first date with a guy you don’t know very well on Valentine’s Day – it seems risky, but you’re up for the adventure. You find out at dinner (which you met him at right after work) that he has somehow gotten access to your apartment and decorated every room with flowers, candles, and twinkle lights. He also wants to marry you – like tomorrow.

You know what’s great about this game? No matter what your day has looked like today – it likely hasn’t been as bad as some of these scenarios. You should know though – at least one of these scenarios was created from personal experience.

That’s right. Let’s see who guesses it right.

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