Why I’m glad I’m not in charge

If I was in charge of it all, here’s how I would have written my day today:

MORNING: sleep late.  wake up.  Eat delicious food.

AFTERNOON: watch TV. take a nap.

EVENING: dinner with friends 

NIGHT: early to bed.

But, I have a job and responsibilities and such and so here’s what my day actually looked like:

MORNING: wake up early enough that I can have some time in the Word before my first meeting.

AFTERNOON: continue meetings.  All day.  Back to back.  Until 5:30 PM.

EVENING: drive to campus to teach at a college women’s event.  no time for dinner. (also left my wallet at home)

NIGHT: teach.  And afterwards end up in Kerby Lane at 10 PM eating dinner.

Here’s why God is better than me:

MORNING: While I would have been content to sleep this morning, He woke me with His Word.  And I got to spend a good amount of time meditating on Psalm 33 and applying all I learned in my ‘meditation’ chapter in my puritan book I’m reading.

My way: I get sleep.  His way: I got communion with Him.

(Round one to Jesus)

AFTERNOON: While I would have been pretty happy to chill on the couch, God brought me to people to dream about what it might look like to train His bride.  My day was filled with meetings, yes.  But meetings with people I love, sharing a passion for a Jesus I love, dreaming about strategies and visions that I love.

My way: I would have been able to catch up on tv.  His way: I got to process and plan some eternal dreams.

(Round two to Jesus)

EVENING: While I would have happily skipped out on teaching this evening, God had a better plan.  I would have loved to just hang out with some friends; would have loved eating a great dinner and would have loved the feeling of leaving a meal refreshed by good company.

In His wisdom, He called me to a different kind of refreshment tonight.

The kind that comes from being used when you know you are useless.  The kind that comes from praying over women who are in the fight and hanging on by a thread, and with tears pouring down their faces they just want to pray for faith to walk in God’s will.

The kind of refreshment that comes from talking about His gospel, and in the middle of speaking you suddenly remember that you yourself are a recipient of that Gospel.  And right in the midst of the words coming out of your mouth you feel your heart pound in your chest like it might burst with love for our sweet Savior.

My way: I would have left feeling a little less tired.  His way: I feel exhausted. I am empty of myself, but full of Him.

(Round three: defo Jesus).

While I would have been tucked away in bed right now, I find myself in a restaurant because my day just didn’t lend itself to eating.  I would have loved some sleep, but instead I’m here: listening to music and reflecting on my day and my night and finding a little worship inside of this tired and spent and joyful heart.

And I just ran into some girls from last night and together, with eyes shimmering with tears we just talked about the crazy way our God likes to use broken things to make beauty in the middle of this crazy stupid world.

My way: I would have had physical rest.  His way: I can’t stop crying.

I like the way God writes my days and I am praying now that this gratitude for this day would lead to a deeper trust tomorrow.

And before I sign off.  one thing:  guys.  Jesus really is the best.

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