My thoughts on the sin tendencies of women continues…
2. The Sin of Covetousness.
Of all the things I see in the evil recesses of my heart, the root of covetousness often seems to run the deepest. This is the part of a woman that feels a deep insecurity that is concealed with vain gossip or comparison or indulged with self-pity and bitterness.
This is the part of the woman that cannot find contentment until something about their circumstances shifts. They have a hard time celebrating with those who are experiencing a joy they lack, and they can’t enjoy what they have because they are too busy looking at the blessings others receive.
In the book Undefiled the writer talks about insecurity as one of the most damaging things to the intimacy of a husband and a wife. His theory, as a counselor who has seen the insides of a million marriages, is that there are two things that can destroy marital intimacy. One is pornography – which distorts and disables the viewers ability to taste the good things God has given. Another (and one that we someone have made a lot more acceptable than the last) is the sin of insecurity and comparison.
The writer basically proposes that every time a woman compares her body to another woman’s she feeds into the monster of insecurity (in the same way that watching porn feeds the monster of lust). And that monster of insecurity robs her of her ability to believe her body is the perfect body designed for her husband, and that in turn, robs the marriage of healthy intimacy.
wowzah. imagine if we fought insecurity the same way we expect others to fight pornography?
All of our weaknesses are distortions; they are good things gone horribly awry.
There’s something beautiful in the design of women that God is able to fully redeem. Through Christ, we can have a heart that fully embraces the scriptures’ command to be content in all things because God has said ‘never will I leave you nor forsake you’. At least that’s what Ms. Elliot tells me – I’m not quite there yet myself.
Here’s the deal. God has secured our righteousness and acceptance in Christ. We have a guaranteed advocate. We have the approval of God. We have a promise that we will never be left by the only being that we need. This is an anchor to the soul. It should free us up to trust that all the circumstances of the day are working for our good and His glory.
If we believed this, we would be robbed of the need to put other women down or belittle them in order to elevate ourselves. We would no longer have to dwell on what we didn’t get or attempt to secure for ourselves attention or approval.
Our insecurity results in fear, vanity, pride, arrogance, jealous, pettiness, cattiness.
Contentment would result in us being women who are spiritual, trusting, supportive, hospitable and graceful.
I want this so desperately. I see how damaging my insecurity and my comparison is. I want the quiet and peaceful heart that is able to trust all leadership because this truth is so secure: if God is for me, who can be against me. If God is for me, I don’t need to panic about what I’m missing out on or how I’m being rejected.
I would be free to trust. I would be free to count others as more significant than myself. I would be able to celebrate with other women, encouraging them without being threatened or panicked about how pretty, smart, talented, gentle and submissive they are.
I wouldn’t have to take stock of every wife I meet and measure myself against her to figure out what it is that I’m doing wrong.
How do you know if this is something you struggle with? Well, I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t struggle with this. But good news gals, we aren’t slaves to fear any more. We’re children of God.
So, pursue God. Believe He can meet your needs. Believe that His approval is the approval you need. Get people around you who you can be honest with about this struggle and who will encourage you – not by telling you how great you are, but by telling you how great GOD is.
I long for Jesus. I long to be live as a child – free of this fear. I pray for that. I believe that God will answer those prayers. Cause He’s just that kind of God – gracious and merciful.