Here’s what we’ve got in store for this Sunny June newsletter:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on finding joy in my work]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving on [hardwiring happiness]

• 🗳️ A poll [on areas of stress]

• 🔗 Some link love [sun-shiney things]

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

• June’s free resource: [a journal/prayer guide for June]

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on finding joy in my work]

It’s been a little hectic over here. Just a lot going on. And I’m noticing an uptick in stress that comes from trying to keep up with everything.

One of my least favorite things about this kind of stress is that it makes me wish away my life. I just want to get through the next big project and rest. I’m teaching at church this Sunday, so - get through that, and then there is a reset. I’m working on a Dopamine Detox cohort launching tomorrow (sign up here if you wanna join us), so - as soon as I get through that I can take a breath. I’m prepping a few different Psychology classes for a local college I teach at, and - if I can just get a bit more done I’ll be okay.

The wild thing is - unless I take a breath and pause - I might miss a radical reality.

These three activities are dreams come true. Like absolute dreams.

If you hit rewind a few years on my life, you’d find a person who struggles to get out of bed, never imagines teaching the bible again, and can’t imagine going back to school, and hasn’t really even heard of dopamine.

And if you told her about these opportunities coming her way, she would have been absolutely delighted.

This weekend, as an exercise in a book I’m reading (more below), I took a pause and just sat in it for a minute. Taking it all in - sitting in gratitude for this strange, wild existence we partake in as humans.

The goal of this kind of ‘happiness’ practice is not to drown out or repress the very real stress of trying to do all this in a chronic-illness body. But, to make sure the very real stress of trying to do all this in a chronic-illness body doesn’t drown out the marvelous miracle of my life.

So, this week has already been filled with more joy and excitement and less stress and fear. And I’ll take it.

P.S. If you want some of the prompts I’ve been working through, I’ve created a prayer/journal guide for June that you can download at the bottom of this email.

❤️ A thought I’m loving on [hardwiring happiness]

The book referenced above is Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson. He encourages us to balance out our negativity bias (that all humans have) by intentionally noticing the magical and wonderful things in the world around us, which is just full of tiny and huge good things.

“All this good means that each day is like a winding path strewn with pearls and diamonds, emeralds and rubies, each one an opportunity for a postive experience. Unfortunatly most poeple hurry by without noticing them. And even when they do see a jewel, they rarely feel anything about it. Jewel after jewel left behind, lost forever.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. With a little intention and skill, you can take some seconds here and there each day to weave a handful of these jewels into the fabric of your brain, your being, and your life. Little moments of ease, pleasure, calm, determination, joy, insight, and caring becoming neural structure.”

🗳️ A poll on [what gets in the way of happiness]

Let’s start with this recap: in last month’s poll I asked folks what they wanted more of in their relationships, and the majority said ‘fun’! I was surprised, but then I was also like ‘that makes sense.’ So take this as your cue to text some friends and get a game night on the books!

This month’s poll comes from this concept that there are really three core areas of our lives that sabotage our happiness: our sense of safety, our sense of satisfaction, and our sense of connection. What do you need right now in order to settle into joy?

🔗 Some links to songs that give me good vibes

Here are some links to songs that give me some sunny vibes. They’re all different genres, and I cannot explain to you why they give me the particular vibes identified below. But it is what it is.

• A little musical energy - for believing in yourself vibes

• Some pop - that gives wrapping up your workday vibes

• Very repetitive - but gives those nice road trip vibes

• Some country vibes - for those days when you can’t find the sunny

• What is this genre? Pop-ish-folk? - sunny vibes for the end of the world

• Countryish - I think this is a getting your day going vibe

📅 What you missed in May

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• The Danger in the Parable of the Prodigal Son

• On Pastors who ‘didn’t mean to’ - One of the things I get pushback on most often in my spiritual abuse research

• On forgetting - a little love letter to the amazing-ness of our bodies

• Some thoughts (& a worksheet) to help you reflect on the state of your friendships

🆓 June Free Resource | some prayer prompts to cultivate joy and gratitude

The free resource for June is below (for paid subscribers!).

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One is around the findings from my research that …

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I’m feeling a little reflective today. A little in awe of how little we know about the human brain. And how disrespectful we often are towards the complex machinery of our bodies.

Jus…

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I have decided May is going to be the friendship month, so buckle up.

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on the importance of friendship]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving on [different kinds of friends]

• 🗳️ A poll [on friendship and loneliness]

• 🔗 Some link love [focused on making friends as an adult]

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

• May’s free resource: [a friendship audit]

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on the importance of friendship]

This weekend, I’m giving a message about single women, and the way that so many of the systems (specifically in the church) unintentionally isolate and marginalize single women. The problem with systems is that they do more than just neglect certain demographics; they train our brains on what is ‘normal’ and who is valuable. Even systems created with the best of intentions - designed around the majority - can end up, over time, stripping dignity from those outside the majority.

And single women in the church have been saying this for years.

As I was prepping this message, I was reflecting on what drew me to my current church: a core value of significant friendship. When I saw those words on their home page back in 2020, and looked through their gatherings and events and small groups, I realized I’d found a church that values relationships in all their forms. It doesn’t treat romantic love as if it is somehow more sacred than friendship. And it doesn’t assume that adults don’t need friends because they have partners.

More and more, I hear language that implies your partner can be all things to you - all the friends you need bundled up in one person - but that isn’t how life works. A diverse and plural group of friends is one of the greatest gifts a human can have.

And that’s why this month’s entire newsletter is around friendship.

(And the free resource for paid subscribers is a friendship audit I made to help you reflect on the energy you are getting from your relationships and the level of investment you’re experiencing.)

❤️ A thought I’m loving on [different kinds of friends]

Chronic illness aside, I am generally an initiator in friendships, and I know how that feels. More than once, I have assumed that other people’s inability to initiate means they do not value my friendship. With that interpretation, it can be painful - to keep inviting and to look back in the text thread and know that it’s always you who starts the convo. But, over time, I have come to accept that this failure to initiate doesn’t always reflect a value or priority system, and for me, it isn’t a friendship deal breaker.

I love this quote from Nina Badzin:

Here’s a truth in friendships: effort and care doesn’t always look the same from each person…

Some people show effort by initating. Others show effort by saying yes, showing up, and being fully there when it counts (not on their phones, not half paying attention.) Let’s be honest - sometimes the excellent planner ‘falls short’ in other ways.

That doesn’t mean you can’t feel tried of being the planner. It just means the question isn’t only ‘why aren’t they stepping up?’ It’s also: does this dynamic actually work for me? And are these good friendships in other ways?

…You’re measuring effort and care through initiation and planning because that’s your skillset, while they’re expressing effort and care through consistant and enthusiastic participation. And through gratitute to you.

❤️

🗳️ A poll on [friendship]

What do you wish your friendships had more of right now?

🔗 Some link insight on friendship

Here are some graphics I liked on friendship recently.

📅 What you missed in April

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• When the system is the perpetrator - Implications from phase two of my Spiritual Abuse research

• Amaze Amaze Amaze - Some pondering & wondering thoughts following Splashdown

• Some thoughts on attachment, a journaling exercise, and a worksheet to help you explore your attachment to God

🆓 The free resource for May is below (for paid subscribers!)

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For me, yesterday was almost an out-of-body experience. I could not believe I was witnessing a REAL splashdown. My whole life, I’ve heard about this, learned about it, watched it in movi…

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I just watched the launch of Artemis II. Wow. What a beautiful way to start this month. Humans: we are so, so wonderful and beautiful and capable of so much when we work together.

Here’s what we’ve got in this newsletter:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on attachment to God]

• 💕 A [journaling exercise] I’m loving

• 🗳️ A poll [on rest]

• 🔗 Some link love [from this past month]

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

• April’s free resource: [attachment to God]

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on attachment]

I have a sort of a simple framework I use to think through attachment in relationships (including God). It’s an oversimplification of attachment, but on a basic level, it involves three pieces: (1) how you view yourself, (2) how you view the other person, (3) how you view the relationship.

• Anxious attachment happens when you have a LOW level of trust in yourself but a HIGH level of trust in others. You feel like you need them to be safe. You have a HIGH value of the bond of the relationship, but it feels UNSTABLE (so you frequently panic that you’re being left).

• Avoidant attachment is when you have a HIGH level of trust in self but a LOW level of trust in others. You feel like you can’t rely on them. You have a LOW/NEUTRAL value of the bond of relationship. (You behave as if you are fine without it).

• Secure attachment is when you have a HIGH level of trust in yourself, and a HIGH level of trust in your partner. You have a HIGH value for the bond, and it also feels STABLE to you.

• Disorganized attachment is when you have a LOW level of trust in yourself, and a LOW level of trust in others. You can have a HIGH or LOW value for the bond depending on the day, and it often feels UNSTABLE.

When I think about most of the way we interact with God, it seems like in most churches we’ve got some pretty intense Anxious attachment going on. My hunch is that this developed in response to watching people operate like Avoidants with God (we’re fine without Him; we don’t trust Him). The church compensated by emphasizing our frailty. But, in many churches, they went a little further than just describing our fallibility and humanity.

My hope is that we would begin to believe that trusting and valuing ourselves is NOT a threat to our attachment to God. Your relationship with God does not DEPEND on you feeling worthless. It isn’t contingent on hating yourself.

(For those of you who are paid subscribers, I’ve attached a free worksheet that you can use to explore your attachment with God through this framework at the bottom of this newsletter. LMK how it goes!)

❤️ A [journaling exercise] I’m loving

Love this journaling exercise from @Aliabdaal - and when you do it (if you do it) - one of the ‘rules’ is “you must have 3x as many things in the ‘what’s working’ column than in the ‘what’s not working’ column. That’s a great way to help your brain compensate for its negative bias.

🗳️ A poll on [on rest]

Here’s the poll for this month:

🔗 Some link love

Here are some links I’ve been loving this past month:

• Obsessed with this artwork

• A recipe I want to try

• A guide for regulating your nervous system

• Some insight into what happens in our brains when we don’t move enough

• Most listened to song this month

📆 What you missed in March

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• Control: the abuse prevention strategy that makes abuse worse - 5 problematic narratives that keep churches from responding effectively to abuse

• What if this isn’t a breakdown, but an invitation? (The Psychology of the Midlife Crisis)

• Some thoughts on finding true things to tell yourself, noticing nature, stress & planner layouts

🆓 The free resource for April is below (for paid subscribers!)

Read more

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Here’s what we’ve got in this newsletter:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on affirmations]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving [on noticing nature]

• 🗳️ A poll [on stress levels]

• 🔗 Some link love [a planner’s dream]

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

• March’s free resource: [daily affirmations worksheet]

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on affirmations]

I’m not an affirmations girlie. I have always thought of affirmations as a form of toxic positivity or like ‘putting-stuff-out-into-the-universe’ type stuff, and that’s not my vibe.

But recently I’ve been doing an exercise where each morning I notice all the different parts of me, and what thoughts or feelings are most active. I spend a few minutes leaning into that part of me and just brain-dumping all the associated stress/frustration/fears.

And then I think through what that voice needs; not like smothering fears or frustrations with positive self-talk - but more like - what does this part of me need to hear? From God, from me? And I think through what feels authentic, true, and important for that part of me to know.

One example: I noticed the other morning that a part of me is just longing to connect with God, but as I leaned into that part of me, I also noticed that I have nothing to bring - no cognitive energy to read my Bible or pray, no emotional energy to process, and even thinking about it leaves me feeling a little exhausted. So, I wrote all that down, without editing or correcting. And then I wrote next to it my ‘affirmation’ —> “God needs nothing from you.”

I’ve been liking it. That’s all.

I made a little journal page for paid subscribers that will walk you through this process if you want to try! (scroll to the bottom of this newsletter)

❤️ A thought I’m loving [on noticing nature]

Loving this study out of Concordia University of Edmonton. It was a two-week study, where some participants were just asked to:

• Notice the everyday nature they encountered in their typical daily routine (trees, birds through the window, clouds, etc.)

• Pay attention to how it made them feel

• Record responses

This basic daily mindful noticing showed significant increases in ‘well-being,’ (which is like positive emotions, life satisfaction, connectedness…)

So that’s cool.

(I’ve been trying it, and the part I find the hardest? Noticing how it makes me feel. I have had to create a word bank because it’s so hard for me to come up with anything.)

🗳️ A poll on [on stress levels]

Despite all that I do to manage my stress levels, I’ve been noticing a lot in the past month. There’s just a lot going on. My hunch, for aw hile, has been that we’re all pretty stressed. But curious about that hunch. So…

🔗 Some link love

Okay, I’m in deep in the journal world right now. Like the planner-journal world, not just the journal-journal world. So, this section is going to be pretty niche, but for those who are nerds like me - here are some setups/concepts I’ve been loving recently:

📆 What you missed in February

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• What Are You Ready to Shed?

• What Valentine’s Day gets wrong

• A scary thought about Sunday Scaries

• Relational dynamics, why you might hate everyone right now & a resource to help you notice your “internal weather.”

🆓 The free resource for March is below (for paid subscribers!)

✏️ Free resource: Daily Affirmations Worksheet

I’ve been trying this practice (that I wrote about in the first section of this newsletter) to start my day, and I’m kind of loving it. Let me know how it goes for you!

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I would like to say this is a wisdom I have earned with age, but the truth is - I’ve always known it: love - wherever you find it, in all its form…

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Anyway! Here’s what you can explore in this newsletter:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on why you might hate everyone right now]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving [on relational dynamics]

• 🗳️ A poll [on what you want]

• 🔗 Some link love

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

• February’s free resource: an internal weather tracker

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on why you might hate everyone right now]

Okay. That’s an exaggeration, but seriously: have you noticed an inability to tolerate people recently? Have you noticed how mild annoyance morphs into grating irritation really quickly? (Am I projecting?)

Our brain is so committed to protecting us that when the threat system is activated, we make a couple of big changes in how we engage with others. More black and white thinking, more painting people with broad strokes, less trust, less willingness to tolerate disagreement. o

And while that reflects amazingly adaptive brain functioning that has kept us alive for thousands of years, it also is not helping any of us navigate this situation/world. And it might actually be contributing to the state of the world.

So. Deep breaths, everyone. Regulation before reaction.

❤️ A thought I’m loving [on relational dynamics]

I like this:

🗳️ A poll on [on what you want]

Been thinking recently about how I’m the most annoying friend/family member cause I’m always running around telling people about the terrible things we’re doing to our brains and dopamine and blah blah blah. And a friend asked me recently - you’re creating resources you think people NEED, but what would you create if you were thinking about the resources people WANT?

And it’s got me thinking a lot. So help me out:

🔗 Some link love

Quotes, Journal prompts & recipes seem to be the theme of the links I’ve saved so far this year:

• 11 inspirational quotes

• High-protein brownies

• Some questions from monks

• A salad that looks amazing but probably isn’t

• Values Compass

• January habits to ‘change your year’ (skeptical but saved)

📆 What you missed in January

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• Why putting your phone down might be the best thing you can do for democracy

• Winter is for hibernation, not hustle

• Some thoughts on things I’m leaving behind

🆓 The free resource for February is below (for paid subscribers!)

✏️ Free resource: Internal Weather Tracker

I first got this concept from Austin Kleon (who I think got it from someone else). But it’s been really helpful for me in my life, as I’ve shared before, and a while back I made myself a little mini-planner that helps me track a few things each day: gratitude, internal weather, mood.

When you don’t have time to journal, do morning pages, or have a quiet time, this short/quick prompt can be really helpful. Below is the worksheet and an example!

Read more

And let me be honest: I’m stressed and afraid. I don’t know how to act or what I’m supposed to do, and I feel very helpless.

And, when I feel helpless. I research. I seek to…

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It might be surprising (considering that I’m doing a workshop on planning for 2026 next week), but the truth is: I’m loving all these reminders that winter is not the time to try to execute new goals.

I couldn’t agree more.

But - there’s one thing missing from the discourse that is really, really important. (and explains why I’m doing the workshop next week).

It IS a season for hibernation.

But hibernation IS NOT scrolling. Hibernation is not passive. It isn’t a form of disconnection or dissociation, or lack of activity each day.

In fact, some of the versions of ‘hibernation’ I’m seeing proposed for this season is actually the opposite of hibernation.

Lying in bed and scrolling TikTok is the equivalent of a Bear pacing outside their cave for hours and hours hunting for berries and not stopping, even when it finds some. It’s the equivalent of a rat running on a wheel. It’s exhausting, not restorative. It’s not a ‘winter’ activity.

I’m a reflection/dreaming person, not because I don’t value rest, but because I do. I actually wish MORE of us were hibernating right now. And that’s what this season is for; that’s what the workshop is designed to be: an invitation to true hibernation.

Hibernation is a state shift, designed to conserve energy. Winter is hard. And cold. So bears enter a specific state that enables them to survive. They shift their behavior, reallocate their energy to ensure their internal systems are prioritizing behavior that will enable their survival, vs wasting precious resources running after berries that they can’t find in winter.

New Year’s resolutions (as they tend to be understood) are counter to this. And, they are not my jam. As others have been highlighting - I don’t think winter is a good time for them - but more importantly, the research is clear - no time is good for them. The way most people do resolutions and goal-setting doesn’t actually work at any time of year. We aren’t good at muscling through and making change through willpower.

What I do this time of year, and what I’m inviting others to join me in, isn’t about optimization or new effort or finding energy you don’t have to do something that you don’t truly value.

What I do this time of year is a form of hibernation. It’s a retreat internally to notice how I’m spending my energy and recognizing that, because conditions out there are harsh, I need to reallocate my resources and prioritize what keeps me healthy. I seek to let go of behaviors and patterns that spend energy that I do not have on things I don’t need and don’t value. I hibernate.

I’m a fan of reflecting and dreaming - not as a means to start something, but as a way to return to something - to restore something - to realign your behavior with what really matters to you. It’s not about spending your energy to control yourself better; it’s about conserving your energy to stop wasting energy on things that don’t matter.

And I happen to think that is exactly what this season is for.

If you’re up for hibernating with me - come join me for the workshop live, or watch it in your own time. Check it out at the link below.

Check out the workshop

Please note: shifted the time for some UK folks

🗓 Tuesday, January 13
⏰ 12:15–1:30 PM CT
📍 Virtual (live)
🎥 Recording included (available if you can’t attend live)

We’ll use accessible neuroscience and guided reflection to clarify values and turn them into a few realistic, meaningful priorities for the next few months.

Here’s what I’ve got for you this month:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on what I’m leaving behind]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving [on goal setting]

• 🗳️ A poll [on workshop-ish thing]

• 🔗 Some links to [some good resources for a new year!]

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on what I’m leaving behind]

I love all those posts about ‘letting go’ or ‘what you’re leaving behind in 2025.’ Love this concept, but when I sat down to do it for myself, I drew a blank. I realized I needed some prompts to get my mind going that were a little more specific, so I came up with some new prompts that I’m processing through:

• If I trusted that nothing meant for me would be lost, what would I loosen my grip on?

• What do I want to stop resisting?

• What am I no longer responsible for?

• What am I tolerating that my body has been quietly objecting to? Where is my body begging me to set boundaries?

• If I let go of all the shoulds, what parts of my life or behavior would I shed?

• What do I want to stop giving so much energy to (either internally or externally)?

• If I let go of my expectations of how life was supposed to go, what would fall away?

• If I stopped shaping myself to be easier to love, understand, or accept, what relational pattern might I release?

• If I let go of things I can’t control, what would be released from my hands?

• What ways of thinking or responding have been trying to keep me safe, but no longer serve me?

❤️ A thought I’m loving [on goal setting]

Three things research shows that I want to tell you about that are influencing my goal-setting right now:

1. Goals need to be specific. You’ve heard this before. We’ve all heard about SMART goals, and that’s because the research on this is clear: specific goals work better for our brains than vague ‘be better’ goals. BUT —>

2. Specific goals don’t always work. Here’s the twist: other research demonstrates that a goal can be specific and measurable and still won’t happen if it doesn’t align with deeper values. AND —>

3. Identity-based goals activate motivation. We are most likely to do something when we think we associate a behavior with identity. (E.g., people given tasks in studies who are told ‘don’t cheat’ will cheat more than people who are told ‘don’t be a cheater.’) How we frame our goals matters.

Goals work best when they are specific, value-aligned, and identity-supportive.

Come make some goals with me in January, and/or download the workbook to make your own!

🗳️ A poll on [on workshop-ish thing]

I’m offering a workshop in January for goal-setting, but I’m curious if that’s the right format/timing/content for people?

The guided workshop is designed to help you set goals that actually fit your values, your vision, and your real life. It’s got some psychology stuff, practical tools, and intel on what actually helps us make real change in our lives. (It’s virtual and live, but a recording will be available for those who can’t make it live.)

When you read that, what’s your impression of the workshop? (And feel free to email me your thoughts too! Learning mode over here!!)

🔗 Some link love

For New Year’s reflection & dreaming!

• Link to the workshop if you are interested (you don’t have to attend live)!

• A template of some reflection questions I use

• A workbook I made on setting goals aligned with values

• Inspo for a ‘More and Less’ list for the coming year

• Days to put on the calendar in 2026

• Noticing your constraints and energy before you set goals

• A guide to journaling for 2026

📆 What you missed in December

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• Year-End Reflection & Planning Resources - Downloadable resources (plus free workbook for paid subscribers)

• A little food for thought this Christmas Eve

• ‘Tis the season for grief

• Happy Advent to those who feel like they’re in a holding pattern

• Some thoughts on hope, some Advent resources, and links to my favorite products from 2025

Over the years, I’ve developed a few tools I use every year to reflect, reset, and plan, informed by research on motivation, values, and behavior change. I’ll share those below.

I’m also offering a workshop in January where I walk people through this process more fully and help them turn reflection into goals they can actually follow through on.

Phase one: Processing

• Reflection: I do a little bit of journaling and a lot of reflecting at the close of a year. I keep this super open-ended. I’m not usually trying to form any conclusions here. I’m just letting my brain notice and reflect on what my year was like.

• I do the same kind of open-ended processing when I think about the next year. I think through different categories of my life and just dream about how I want them to look and feel. Nothing concrete, just…dreaming.

I use the same questions each year and write my answers all in one doc. I’ve gathered so many over the years and edited them to work for me, but below is a pretty exhaustive list I found. I’ve saved it as a template, so you can just click use and use it. (One of my favorite things is reading the dreams I wrote last year as I’m reflecting, and admiring the surprising ways life sometimes makes sense of things you didn’t even understand when you were writing them.)

Reflection Questions Template

Phase two: Planning

Phase two is turning those thoughts and processes into concrete goals and plans. I do this in a few steps.

• First, I come up with some succinct values. I read through my answers and processing and write out some values that I notice that I want to live into in the coming year.

• Then, I translate those values into concrete goals, behaviors, and habits.

I created a workbook to help with this, which you can purchase at the link below. If you’re a paid subscriber, you can scroll to the bottom of this email and get a coupon code to get it for free!

Values Workbook

If you find yourself unsure how to move from processing and dreaming into goals that actually fit your values and real life, or you just want company and structure for this process, I’m hosting a small, guided workshop in January where we’ll do this work together.

Designing Your Year Workshop

Designing Your Year Workshop is a live, 90-minute online space to clarify what matters, set direction for the year, and build goals that align with the life you’re actually trying to live.

Monday, January 13 | 6:30–8:00 PM CT
Live online · Recording provided

$39 · $19 for paid subscribers

Paid subscribers - get your free workbook & workshop coupon code below!

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Mirroring is what happens when you see a respectable adult making weird faces at a baby. It’s the instinctive way you make a sad face as the baby cries, as you feel empathy and pain with them. By entering into the feeling the baby is feeling, and reflecting it back to them, it helps them know they are understood and not alone in the sensation they are experiencing.

Marking is the interruption of their sensation from someone outside of the experience. It’s when a parent speaks soothingly as a child screams. It helps a baby grasp that what they are feeling is not happening to everyone everywhere. Which makes them feel safe. It means there is someone who is not overwhelmed by the same experience who is able to help them manage whatever is going on.

Too many of us reduce God to a ‘marking’ God. A God who speaks calmly into our pain - telling us true things to pull us out of our emotional spirals; who interrupts our emotional experiences with His glorious promises of truth.

But today we celebrate the miracle of Advent: a God who came to enter into this world with us to be with us inside the chaos. Emmanuel: the God who mirrors to us - the God who feels with us. Who lets us know that our emotions and feelings make sense, that they are understood, and we are not alone.

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light, indeed.

Merry Christmas