I started my first blog in 2000 or 2001, I think. Shout-out to Xanga. I’ve been blogging for over half of my life. And before that I was writing in a diary.
I sat for a few hours last night, downloading all 900 of my past posts from this most recent blog, and it was the first time I felt a twinge of - oh! goodbye blog!
But I think this site/newsletter thing will end up feeling similar.
I’m making this pivot because I wanted a way to cultivate more of an ‘in-process’ space. I long for a space where we can process. And process together.
And I long for a space where I am truly free to be in process. Life changes us. Me included.
I recently turned 40, and when I did I looked back at an old post I wrote about turning 30. It was like 30 things I’d learned. I don’t even know what I think now about 90% of those things.
Hence this pivot. First, because a newsletter feels more like it communicates my in-process vibe.
Second (and mainly) - on this newsletter/site I’m able to put some things behind a pay wall, (things like my podcast, and more of my messy thoughts).
And here’s why I like that: it makes me feel safer. To me - it means the people reading those thoughts probably have some kind of buy-in or experience with me. And so I feel a little freer to be in-process. Maybe the people reading or listening will hear things with more context. It doesn’t eliminate the chance of my words being taken out of time or intention to be used in ways I wouldn’t want, but it certainly feels like it is a step in that direction.
My goal isn’t for my words to reach as many people as possible. It’s for my thoughts to reach the people who might be helped by them. And that seems more likely to happen if the people reading them have some history or context of a relationship with me (even if that is just on the internet).
Anyway. Thanks for being here.
Here’s what you can expect:
EVERYONE will get thoughts in their inbox. I’m aiming for monthly!
Paid subscribers will get more regular and messy thoughts. More things that haven’t been overly edited, and aren’t finished thoughts, but more current ponderings.
Paid subscribers will also get access to my podcast-ish thing.
Anyone can log-in here at any time and catch up on thoughts they missed that are available to them (public ones available to anyone!)
You can also become a Patron if you’d rather do that instead of being a subscriber. I think of my patrons as sort of a board of directors. I bounce ideas off them. And also - in my dark nights of feeling like I have lost my dreams with this Long Covid life, I look at my list of patrons and they truly help me feel like I can keep going.
Up first —>
I’m going to finish out my spiritual abuse series - and that will go to everyone!
I’m also posting my spiritual abuse podcast/ramblings weekly - and those will be available to patrons and subscribers. The first one is already up! So you can view it here!