Some thoughts on boundaries, a couple of cool quotes and some link love!
An August recap for everyone!
Look at September! So bold! It’s just shoving its face right into my life whether I’m interested or not! (For the record, I am DEFO interested in getting this summer thing out of the way).
Here’s what you’ll find in this month’s newsletter:
A thought I’m processing on boundaries
A thought I’m loving on sharing your feelings
What you guys have been processing this month
Some links I’m loving
A full recap & links to this month’s posts
A thought I’m processing [on boundaries]
I’m going through an Inner Child workbook at the moment and it’s been reframing the conversation around boundaries. We tend to think of boundaries as ‘saying no.’ We think we get better at boundaries when we are able to put up limits on how we spend our time or resources. But really, boundary work is about noticing where we stop and someone else begins. It’s a little more existential than saying ‘no’.
So many of us struggle with boundaries because we can’t tell where we start and someone else begins. We take on other people’s troubles as if they are our own responsibility. We let other people’s feelings infect our own to the point where we feel dysregulated until they are regulated.
I wonder if boundary work is less about ‘getting good at saying No’, and begins more with focusing on ‘your dance space vs their dance space’ (dirty dancing call back).
Just a thought.
A thought I’m loving [on sharing your feelings]
“Before you ever learned otherwise, you knew how to trust yourself, listen to your bodily sensations, feel your feelings, ask for help, say no, feel connection and trust with others. Those are wired in processes, there in your system from the get go. No matter how long they have felt far away from you, how unfamiliar they are now, or how young you were when you learned to tuck them away for safe keeping, they are there, hidden under the contractions and defenses you learned you had to employ to stay safe, belong, be loved, and they will still be there, inside you, waiting for the right moments to surface. We don’t have to learn how to do these things, we only have to unlearn the ways we protected ourselves.” - Dr. Hillary McBride
What you guys have been processing this month
Each month I ask the folks what they’ve been processing. Here are some of your responses from August:
Wish I could insert a photo of dog sh*t here
😂 😂 😭 😭
The phenomenon of pastors getting standing ovations when confessing sin publicly. WEIRD! (It happened just recently with Matt Chandler)
I just recorded a podcast-ish thing on this whole situation! I’ll post it tomorrow! Also, you’re not the only one thinking about it…
The difference between confidently walking in Oneness with God vs. my own strength
Some links I’m loving
Zoe Method - I’m doing a research study with these people and it is AMAZING. Ask me questions if you’re interested.
Article I’m loving - so much resonating I feel like a tuning fork
A guilty pleasure (about which I feel NO GUILT)
A TikTok which captures the current vibe over here.
What you missed this month
Below are some links to what I’ve shared this month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them.)
Away/Toward - a new habit I’ve been practicing.
Podcast-ish Thing: When faith is used to control and coerce 🤢
Why is it hard to know you are loved? - some inner child work
Podcast-ish Thing bonus episode on the Matt Chandler sitch