How is it already April? (Are you sensing a theme in these monthly recaps?)
Here’s what’s in store in this newsletter:
A thought I’m processing on identity
A thought and activity on self-acceptance
What you’ve been processing this month
Some link love
A full recap & links to this month’s posts
A thought I’m processing [on identity]
I’ve been learning a lot about the psychology of identity and I’ve noticed an odd tendency I have to engage with my identity with rolled-up-sleeves. As if it’s work. AS if I’m supposed to be deciding who I am or determining my own preferences, instead of discovering this creature that already exists. This month I’ve been shifting my engagement with myself: less “creating” and more curiosity, less “deciding” and more discovering. More observing. Watching as my SELF splashes up against the events or ideas I encounter and noticing how that self responds. What does she think? Feel? She is revealing herself to me more and more as I make space for her. Yet, she is shy and hesitant to show me parts of herself. She has been hurt before you see - parts of her have been deemed unacceptable, irritating, threatening, or just plain inefficient.
What a wild and freeing thing it is: to make space for yourself to be accepted and wanted exactly as you are. To look out over the broadness and wildness of your entire soul and declare: there is nothing hiding, nothing lurking that is going to threaten your wonderful worth.
We are so afraid that acceptance is the enemy of growth. But how strange and wonderful - and how like the Gospel: this absolute acceptance and unconditional love somehow results in the very transformation and growth we’ve always longed for.
A thought I’m loving [on self-acceptance]
as I have been pondering this very thing, it of course makes sense that I stumbled across this beautiful quote in a re-read of “The Practical Art of Creativity.” Julia has just invited the reader to reflect on ten positive adjectives they might use to describe themselves and then she says:
“It is worth noting here, that the point of this tool is not self transformation but self-acceptance. If you are intense, so be it. There are those who love intense. If your irreverent humor offends the hyperserious crowd, it will be appreciate elsewhere. when we affrim rather than deny the characteristrics often singled out we begin to have a much more accurate idea of by whom and where our traits will be aprpicated.”
What would go on your list of positive adjectives you might use to describe yourself?
What you are all processing
Each month I ask people what they have been thinking about. Here are a couple of responses from this month:
Thinking about the point of dreams/aspiriation if we have no control.
Ugh. Well. I do not know what dreams/aspirations are being described here. I know that it’s true - some dreams have to die. There is deep grief and also deep relief in accepting our limitations. And yet, in the death of some dreams, we find new dreams. And in my experience, while some options may be off the table, there are often surprising paths forward and steps we can take to move toward a life that offers a shadow of our dreams if not their full reality.
Desires & death
Such interesting things to be thinking about, and I have to say - I’ve been thinking about these two things as well. I’ve been thinking about how powerfully death can shape your future desires: fill you with fear or a terrifying willingness to be unapologetically present. 🤔
Some links I’m loving
A little Christian humor I enjoyed (trigger warning: Mark Driscoll)
A snowy fox I like to look at
A tough and important podcast episode
A book I am constantly recommending
A nice moment from this past month
What you missed in March
Below are some links to what I’ve shared this month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them.)
It isn’t a lie, it’s an experience - some musings on the things we believe that are not always ‘true.’
Deserving of Love - because we exist
Long Covid Awareness Day reflections
3 Years - (more reflections)
Don’t Waste Your Life - rethinking some ‘ableism’ and western ideals that infiltrated my framework of a well-lived life