Here’s what is in store if you are brave enough to read this newsletter:
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on processing]
💕 A thought I’m loving [on regulating vs overreacting]
🗳️ A poll [on how you’re getting your relational needs met]
🔗 Some link love
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on processing]
I recently was reworking the website for the ‘In Process Collective.’ For those who aren’t familiar, the IPC is a thing I started over a decade ago, where I offer resources/spaces/coaching.
And as I was working on it this week I couldn’t help but reflecting on why I named it “In Process” in the first place.
In Process. It was once, for me, a framework for understanding my position in my life: I’m in the process of becoming what I was made to be. Later, as I went back to school and learned more about mental health and our brains, I saw it as a reflection of the importance of engaging with and being willing to be in the process of life.
But this past week, I’ve been thinking about this name again in light of AI. With the advent of AI, the process is no longer a necessary step in creating or producing something.
AI will do things for us that we don’t want to do: trivial tasks, simplifying complex topics. I could ask ChatGPT to write me a newsletter like this. I could skip the process of writing, thinking, and organizing thoughts, but doing so might reflect a failure to understand my design as a human.
For humans, the process isn’t a thing we have to get through to reach an objective. The process is the objective. The process is the thing that creates the pathways in your brain that make you who you are.
These tiny, meaningless tasks that you hate doing? They DO something for and in your brain. Coming up with a grocery list, organizing thoughts, simplifying complicated ideas - these are things that help your brain form neurological pathways that enable you to do a million other things - like relate to humans, and remember names, and understand someone’s thoughts.
Typing posts like this is a thing I do and have done since the Myspace days. Because the process itself is helpful to me. This is not just about producing content. It is about the process of integrating and understanding the content, and writing this post is one of the ways we do that.
More and more, I’m realizing we’re going to have to choose: efficiency/productivity, or process. AI is giving us that choice because we no longer have to do one to get to the other. Process is becoming optional.
I, for one, choose to value and advocate for process. Now more than ever, I stand by the name I gave this thing all those years ago.
I believe it’s in the process of doing things that we become who we are made to be. And anything that can shortcut that process will also, in some way, shortcut our ability to fully discover and operate in our design.
❤️ A thought I’m loving [on regulating vs reacting]
“I believe we are facing an overreaction epidemic, and in order to address it we must first acknoweldge that the problem isn’t our emotions - it’s how we deal with them. Instead of regualting, we react. Instead of pausing, we pounce. Everwhere we look, people are in full-blown freak-out mode.”
-Marc Brackett, (read more here)
The overreaction isn’t because our emotions are disproportionate to what is happening around us. Overreaction is not about the strength of emotion, but about what we do with those emotions. Do we pause to receive the information and organize for action? Or do we just act out to try to feel better?
It’s not about reducing your feelings, but regulating them.
I’ve created a worksheet that you can use to work through your reactions with Jesus, and turn them into responses that enable you - not to repress your emotions - but to act on them in a way that is sustainable and helpful long-term. (link at the bottom of this newsletter!)
🗳️ A poll on [on friends]
I’m curious about how we’re doing these days. Are we lonely? Do we have good friends? Who is meeting your relational needs? Does it all go on one person or partner? Do you have 2-3 friends who meet them? Or a bigger group? Or no one?
🔗 Some link love
An October challenge: rituals for starting afresh
My most listened to song in September
📆 What you missed in September
Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)
Refusing to become what hurt you - A controversial thought on humanizing our villains
Bridging the gap - 4 principles to help us connect instead of divide
A post that explains why I lose my mind when people respond to church criticism with “no church is perfect.”
Some thoughts on wanting, apologies, and what is stopping you from pursuing your dreams - last month’s newsletter
📝 Monthly Resource
Each month, I give my paid subscribers a free resource. This month, it’s for those of you who want a way to prayerfully work through the parts of them that are activated by various social media posts or news stories. 👇
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