Some thoughts on the internet, agency and August intentions
August 2025 Newsletter
How is summer already almost over? Here’s what we’ve got in this edition of the newsletter:
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on the internet & dopamine (surprise)]
💕 A thought I’m loving [on agency]
🗳️ A poll [on August intentions]
🔗 Some link love
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on the internet & dopamine]
Have you ever noticed the ‘thrill,’ the ‘buzz’ that people (all people) get from tearing each other down on the internet? You might notice it in the negative way people talk in the comments, or the way you can’t stop reading through those comments.
That’s happening because we’re operating out of dopamine.
Our incredible brains have different neurotransmitters for different contexts. We have dopamine, designed for exploring and improving the world, and we have other molecules designed for connection and people. When we’re looking at someone, hearing their voice, the people molecules are operating. When we’re scrolling socials, those molecules take a back seat. They downregulate so that dopamine can take over.
And we feel that shift in the form of car-wreck watching curiosity, the sense of needing to comment, needing to act. As we scroll, we gain a strange energy from pain and sadness and conflict.
That’s not because we’re the worst. It’s because dopamine is trying to help us make change by energizing us to action. But dopamine is NOT trying to help us love people. It’s not trying to help us be kind and connect. That’s not its job.
The irony of social media is that it is designed to activate the parts of us that literally take our social skills offline. 🤯
❤️ A thought I’m loving [on intention]
A friend and I are trying a new thing: we get women together to have deep, structured conversations. Last night was our first time gathering, and it was really neat. The topic of the night was living with intention. And the idea of agency kept coming up; noticing that you have options, even if all the options aren’t great.
And a friend sent me this quote this morning that seemed on message:
…reclaim your power, your authentic self-expression, and your sovereignty…
This is your moment of clarity, your permission slip, your nudge from the universe to recalibrate, realign, reclaim and rise again - with courage, self-assuredness and confidence.
Let this transit remind you of who the f you are - beneath the noise, the masks, the proving, the pleasing, the fears, the doubts, the shoulds, the ‘too muchness.’
Let this transit remind you of your courage, and keep going.” - Mia French
🗳️ A poll on [what you need this August]
In light of my recent dinner (referenced above), I’ve been thinking about what I need this August. How about you?
🔗Some link love
A prompt to help ChatGPT stop telling you stuff that isn’t true
Some info you NEED to know about ChatGPT if you use it (and make sure your kids know too)
9 questions to really send you into an existential crisis (or help you reflect)
📆 What you missed in July
Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)
🎧 1.18 - Is it a cult? - the podcast-ish thing is baacckkkk, and just in time for me to get on my soapbox about cultic terms (hey, everybody needs a hobby guys).
Was it abuse? - debunking some ‘abuse’ myths
+ download an inventory to assess a group for psychological abuse
A few research highlights on high-control church systems
Some thoughts on motivation, falling in love platonically & rest
*I know I promised a post on the dopamine reward system, but fear not - that is on its way! You’ll have it in your inbox this month (along with a downloadable worksheet to help you figure out how to set dopamine rewards for yourself!)