Some thoughts on toxic religion, having what you need & what you missed in May!
Welcome to June!
Here’s what’s in store in this newsletter:
🤔 A thought I’m processing on toxic religion
💕 A thought I’m loving on having what you need
🔗 Some link love
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on toxic religion]
I’m about to teach a class/cohort on Toxic Religion and we had such a hard time finding the right name. “Spiritual Abuse” felt like a term that would be way too intense for a lot of people and may unnecessarily eliminate people who might benefit from the content. “Church Hurt” on the other hand felt like it minimized the experience of those who’ve experienced controlling spaces.
I’m ashamed to admit this, but I used to hear about people with “church hurt” and feel empathy, and compassion, but also a sense that they needed to move on. I didn’t understand the very real and deep wounding that comes from spiritual narratives being used against us. The impact of toxic religion is not “hurt feelings.” Coercive spirituality is a deeply dismantling and debilitating experience. It leads to internal fracturing and decreased cognitive functioning and reduced decision-making faculties. This isn’t ‘conflict’ or ‘relational hurt” - it’s a misuse of power, a misuse of God and it does something to a brain that has to be dealt with.
Whether you’ve experienced this, or are just curious to learn about it - or if you work in any kind of church setting - I really encourage and invite you to join us. It’s through my local church, but you don’t need to be part of that church to participate. It’s virtual and you can learn more here.
💕 A thought I’m loving [on having what you need]
You will be given everything you need to accomplish what you have been asked to do.”
We’ve just wrapped up a series through the season of Eastertide at church on Stations of the Resurrection and I’ve loved it. I’ve loved considering the days Jesus spent on earth after He resurrected: who He chose to appear to, how He chose to spend His time, and what He chose to talk about. I especially loved this thought from Scott Erickson on the very last station: Pentecost —>
“This is the hardest part of religion for me… when it doesn’t work. Am I doing it wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not worthy enough for this? …
That to me is the thing behind the thing behind the thing in all religious activities… the question of “am I worthy enough for participation?” Participation in meaningful work. Participation in Divine conversations. Participation in Holy Spirit strategies to transform this world. Am I on the Way, a part of the Way, or am I just in the way?
There was a time where the Followers of the Risen One didn’t know what do. The Risen One had disappeared into a place unseen and in response they committed themselves to waiting for what was next. In one of those waiting gatherings, a noise like a “violent rushing wind” descended on the room, tongues “that looked like fire” rested on each one of the gathered, and then the Spirit gave them the ability to speak in different languages…It was the birthing of something new, and it needed its faithful translators.
The Followers were given what they needed to accomplish what they were being asked to do.
…
You will be given everything you need to accomplish what you have been asked to do.”
🔗Some links I’m loving
A show I’m really excited to check out
A recipe I want to try (working on the PERFECT banana bread)
A show I’ve been loving (YOU GUYS THIS SHOW IS UNBELIEVABLE - and by that, I don’t mean good)
A cat video (cause don’t we all need more of those?)
Someone worth checking out on insta
📆 What you missed in May
Below are some links to what I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them.)
🎧 1.16 - Power & high control religion - podcast-ish episode 16!
Trauma-Coerced Attachment & God - why do so many Christians talk like they’re in an abusive relationship with God?
Purity is not holiness - a post on how these two things get conflated (and how very different they really are).
Shame --> Irritation --> Compassion --> Respect - a post on the journey of learning to listen and love your body.
God helps those who help themselves - a post on the difference between learned helplessness and faith.
You can only love someone to the extent that you know them - a post that needs to be slotted into a new series called “Things I used to say a lot that I no longer believe.”