Some thoughts on allowing emotions, being seen & some links I'm loving
June 2025 Newsletter
It’s a surprise to all of us, but it does appear to be June.
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on the noticing vs. allowing vs. endorsing]
💕 A thought I’m loving [on being seen]
🗳️ A poll [on what you want more of]
🔗 Some link love
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on noticing vs. allowing vs. endorsing]
I’m working on allowing my emotions. Not only is it the key to regulation, it’s also - I’m beginning to see - a true kind of gospeling-yourself; an internal experience of the gospel.
There seem to be two main hangups people have with this idea. They notice feelings, but don’t move beyond that to allowing. Noticing is when you acknowledge a feeling or thought exists instead of trying to repress or avoid it. But allowing is something more - it’s letting that feeling take up space within you. And giving it a sense of belonging. It’s allowed to be a part of you.
When you let the feeling just be a part of you, without trying to shift or repress it, it tends to stop screaming to get your attention.
Other people resist this idea because they think allowing/accepting an emotion is the same as endorsing it. And it is not. You can feel a feeling or think a thought, you can lean in and listen to that sensation, you can even validate it - reflect that it makes sense and comes from somewhere - and none of that is the same as endorsing that sensation.
e.g. you might have anxiety about something that feels illogical to you. You might wish you didn’t. The anxiety might be rooted in an idea or thought that you don’t believe. Accepting this anxiety starts with noticing it exists. It’s real. And you feel it - even if you wish you didn’t. And you can allow it. It’s okay that it is there. It’s allowed to exist within you. It doesn’t define you, and you can tolerate the sensations that come with it. And - you can feel all that without ever having to endorse it. You don’t have to say “I’m so glad I have this feeling because I think it’s right. I think its beliefs are perfectly accurate and I want to live in line with them.”
Try this next time you have a horrible sensation. Take a breath, and just allow it. You could even say to it, “it’s okay that you exist. You’re allowed to be here.” And just notice how it shifts as you stop resisting it. There’s power in acceptance.
❤️ A thought I’m loving [on being seen]
In South Africa, where i’m from, ‘sawubona’ is the Zulu word of saying ‘hello.’ There’s a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word beasue ‘sawubona’ literally translated, means, ‘I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being. - Susan David
🗳️ A poll on [resources]
Some good news —> I’m upping benefits for those of you who are paid subscribers and working on some worksheets and downloadable tools that you might find helpful.
Please let me know what kinds of resources you think would be most beneficial for folks!
🔗Some link love
Five days you could schedule in your month to help you thrive
Signs you may need to reconnect with your sense of agency
Dopamine Detox - I’m leading this cohort for my church & you can join!
Most played song this month
📆 What you missed in May
Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)
Gospeling yourself (2.0) - part 3
Facing our fears - part 2 of a series on creating an internal culture that feels like the gospel
When it isn’t safe to disagree - internal culture (part 1)
Some thoughts on dopamine, phones and the demise of mankind (+ some links)