Some thoughts on gratitude, a dopamine habit challenge, + some link love

November 2025 Newsletter

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! You best believe my tree is going up this weekend, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.

Here’s what I’ve got for you this month:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on 5 daily dopamine habits]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving [on gratitude]

• 🗳️ A poll [on advent]

• 🔗 Some link love

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on 5 daily dopamine habits]

The thing about regulating our dopamine is that it isn’t a one-and-done. You can’t just fix dopamine by tackling one part of your life (like your phone). There are too many things designed to hijack our dopamine in this culture.

To help me regulate my dopamine, I came up with five small daily practices. If you scroll down, you’ll find a downloadable habit tracker for a November Dopamine Challenge!

There’s more in the download, but a little preview: the five habits are (1) doing one thing each day to support your morning dopamine, (2) delay your hit when you’re craving something, (3) do one hard thing each day, (4) practice gratitude and mindfulness, (5) focus.

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❤️ A thought I’m loving [on gratitude]

A few years back, I decided I wanted to get better at gratitude. So, like any normal person, I did a deep dive into the peer-reviewed research on gratitude intervention methods. I wanted to know the ‘best’ way to practice gratitude. And here’s what I learned:

…overall, long-form writing exercises (i.e., essays and letters) resulted in greater subjective well-being and other positive outcomes than lists. Indeed, those who were instructed to write social and nonsocial gratitude lists did not differ from controls on any outcomes…participants who wrote gratitude letters to particular individuals in their lives not only showed stronger feelings of gratitude, elevation, and other positive emotions but also reported feeling more indebted. - Regan A, Walsh LC, Lyubomirsky S.

Allow me to translate. There are two basic findings I’ve come across:

1. Deep > wide - Instead of “list 5 people you’re thankful for,” try “5 things I’m thankful for about ONE person.” It seems we cultivate more gratitude when we think deeply about one person we’re thankful for, rather than trying to list a bunch of people we’re thankful for. Try to go ‘deep’ in your gratitude vs. wide.

2. To > About - Processing our gratitude in the form of a letter to the person we’re thankful for also appears to up our gratitude. The research suggested that if our brain perceives we’re communicating to someone (rather than about them) it increases our gratitude (even if we never share what we wrote with the person). (However, sharing it with the person can increase the sense of ‘reward’ for gratitude, which makes it a little more likely you will integrate it into a habit in your life).

Another November challenge for you: pick one person each day or week and write them a letter or card (even if you never send!)

A few years back, I created cards that help me do this. I’ve hosted a few Friendsgiving-type dinners, and I’ve used these cards as place holders. A couple of folks have asked me about them - so I made them available if you want to snag some for your own Thanksgiving table or gratitude ritual! (Find them here or linked below, but let me know if this doesn’t work because I just transferred my website and web-siting is hard).

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🗳️ A poll on [on advent]

I’m doing a little reboot on some Advent content, and I’m curious about people’s Advent rituals.

(P.S. The previous Advent guide is available for purchase in PDF here, but I’m also working on a new reboot and will keep you posted if it’s finished anytime soon! )

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🔗 Some link love

• A poem on Letting Go

• Some prompts to help you reset and make the most of the rest of your year

• A soothing watch (and I would love to do)

• A recipe I tried (and it went okay)

• Some journal prompts for when you’re looking for clarity

• My most listened to song in October

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📆 What you missed in October

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• How to spot a hormonal man in the wild - A little rant about how weird it is that we talk about hormones like they’re unique to women

• A joke that’s not funny - enjoy another rant - this one about the way people with complex or chronic illness often experience doctors

• Things to remember about your body - the opposite of a rant. A love letter. Your body is amazing

• Some thoughts on processing, overreacting, and relational needs

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Dopamine Challenge Download!

For those who are paid subscribers, you can access the habit tracker by clicking on the link at the bottom of this email. If you’re not a paid subscriber, you’ve got a couple of options!

1. You can purchase the worksheet for $4.99 here.

2. You can become a paid subscriber (and you can even do a free trial to see if it makes sense for you).