Some thoughts on hope, some advent resources and links to my favorite products from 2025
December 2025 Newsletter
We have arrived in the greatest month of the year. And I have a VERY FULL newsletter, so skip around to whatever piques your interest! Here’s what we’ve got:
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on how we avoid hope]
💕 A thought I’m loving [on a good question to ask others]
📖 Advent resources! [I’m swapping out the monthly poll to share links to some Advent resources + free audio guides for paid subscribers]
🔗 Some links to: my favorite products of 2025 for some gift inspo for your peeps!
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on how we avoid hope]
I just shared our kick-off Advent message at church on Sunday, and prepping for it had me processing a lot about hope. Hope is the theme of the first Sunday of Advent.
Hope is hard on the brain. We have to have really good distress tolerance and strong emotional resilience to be willing to engage with it.
Hope is defined by three elements, and we tend to avoid it or manage the anxiety of it by reducing one of these three elements:
Desire or longing… - we tend to avoid hope by reducing this (e.g., in the words of Elphaba, “don’t wish, don’t start…”). But real hope includes feeling the fullness of longing associated with a desire.
…accompanied by expectation or anticipation… - some of us are ‘defensive pessimists’ who ‘hope for the best, plan for the worst’, but if this is you, you are not hoping at all. Because part of what makes hope hope is that we hope. (We actually ‘get our hopes up’.)
…in a context where the outcome is uncertain or unclear - this is what makes hope so hard. We have to have hope when something isn’t yet fulfilled. Which means it includes uncertainty and risk of disappointment. This is why we don’t like it so much in the brain places. Some of us think of ourselves as hopeful, but really we’re just blind optimists who ignore the reality that something is uncertain or not fully promised or guaranteed. We just say “it’s going to happen” and ignore the possibility that it might not.
To be a hopeful people is to tolerate uncertainty and to face the risk of disappointment, because we trust ourselves, or our faith, to endure that disappointment.
Here’s hoping we get better at hope.
❤️ A thought I’m loving [on asking good questions]
I am obsessed with this beautiful essay about living with Long Covid.** The ideas I’ve extracted below feel relevant for all of us:
“At a bookstore last summer, I came across Sigrid Nunez’s novel What Are You Going Through. There it was: the question I’d longed to be asked, written on its cover in unfussy lowercase letters, like a whisper meant for me…
“The title of Nunez’s novel is borrowed from Simone Weil’s essay collection Waiting for God. Weil writes that asking, What are you going through? is the truest form of loving one’s neighbor. In her native French, the translation sounds even more frank: Quel est ton tourment?
It reminded me of another great question I used to hear when I taught English as a Second Language in San Francisco. When my Saudi students entered my classroom each morning, they’d greet me with Kayf haal-ik? Which is to ask, How is your heart doing, at this very breath?
Questions such as these, in their sincerest expression, don’t seek easy answers. Asked with genuine care, they offer an opening for the unspoken to be witnessed. In a landscape of hurried glances, they stop to truly look…
Lately, on my slow walks around the neighborhood, I try to keep an eye out for people who seem to be holding some untold grief. It could be anyone. The man outside the 7-Eleven with the egg-white hair, his hand trembling as he opens a pack of cigarettes. The nanny, kneeling to lift the child’s dropped lunch bag in the crosswalk.
What are you going through? How is your heart, at this very breath?
(**Reading this essay felt like someone speaking for my heart, and at the same time, made me so incredibly thankful for my family and others in my life who have made this disease less lonely than it could have been and has been for so many.)
📖 Some resources [for advent]
Okay! Here are some resources for your advent season:
Everyone can try out Day One below —>
DAY01: Jesus with us in the mess
🔗 Some link love for gift inspo!
Okay - here are my favorites of 2025. These are the items I own that I have loved this year that I own.
BRICK —> This is a good practical gift. This device helps me with my phone so much and I am HERE FOR IT. (I think this link should give you $10 off)
Best sheets ever —> I never share these because I do’nt want to be judged for how expensive they are, but listen. I have Long Covid. And when I bought these for myself I was spending 75% of my life in bed. So, they should cost as much as my couch okay? And they don’t. OBSESSED. (I think my link gets you a discount, and me something!) Here you go! (Also, amazing return policy)
Journal I loved this year —> I put this Plotline Journal on my christmas list last year, after a series of instagram ads, and I’ve been surprised at how meaningful it’s been for me! I’m going to make my own and put my own twist on it this year, but someting about this concept was SO helpful for my brain! No code, but here you go!
App for health —> Okay, obvi I started using this cause I have long covid, but I also tell EVERYONE about it. I’m obsessed with the way it tells me exactly what exercise/heart-rate I have to hit each day based on sleep/HRV - to help my body gradually get stronger. I’m so obsessed, I asked for an affiliate link, which I think gets you lik 90% off. Here ya go. Try it for free and you’ll be hooked.
Pens —> Okay, I’m a total pen snob, but these are all over the place:
Cheap pens for fast writing - my bro-in-law got me these cheap pens for my birthday a few years back becuas ethey’re funny, but I enjoyed writing with them so much I re-upped when I ran out!! They aren’t fancy or for precision writing, but I use them for brain-dump-journaling and I love them.
Fatter option - I tried this guy out after it won some kind of japenese stationary award and I like it. It’s not an every day use for me, cause I like a fine point, but I use it for headings and find it pleasing.
My go-to pen - I like a FINE POINT so don’t come at me becuase it’s too fine, but this is my go-to. I use this EVERY DAY ALL DAY in my planner.
Back to bed —> I wasn’t crazy about the sheets, but straight up obsessed with the sunday citizen comforter, and also love their weighted blanket. Not sure what discount this gets you, but I think $20 off? Here you go!
Comfy clothes —> Obsessed with these joggers. I have them in multiple colors. One of oprah’s fave things (and mine). (I think my link gets you a discount, and me something!) Here you go! (Also like the pjs!)
📆 What you missed in November
Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)
Happy “National Singles Day” to everyone who wasn’t expecting to celebrate - some reasons singleness might feel surprising
While we’re on the topic of singleness - a rant about modern-day dating/relationships
Thanks for reading!