Some thoughts on motivation, falling in love platonically & rest

July 2025 Newsletter

When this hits your inbox I will be in Montreal and it will be July! (It’s my first time in Montreal and my first time to present research at a conference, and I could not be more excited. )

Here’s what I got for ya:

• 🤔 A thought I’m processing [on motivation]

• 💕 A thought I’m loving [on falling in love platonically]

• 🗳️ A poll [on rest]

• 🔗 Some link love

• 📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts

🤔 A thought I’m processing [on motivation]

I’m sorry for all those near and far who have to hear me talk about dopamine 24/7. Actually - the truth is - I’m not sorry. It’s for all our good. In fact, EVERYONE should be talking about dopamine! (WHY DON’T WE LEARN ABOUT THIS IN SCHOOL??? WHY DID NO ONE TEACH US ABOUT OUR BRAIN WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER?!?!)

One thing that I’m loving telling my friends these days is the theory that external rewards decrease motivation. I’m running around bursting everyone’s bubble: hey, that smoothie you give yourself after your workout to incentivise you? It’s de-motivating you. Hey, that paycheck you wish you would get for your incredible writing? It won’t help motivate you to write.

I’m the worst.

But seriously, your brain isn’t dumb. It knows that getting a smoothie is connected to the task of “getting a smoothie,” not the unrelated task of exercise that you did before it. And, I know it feels like getting paid for your art would help motivate you, but it won’t. It appears that when you work for external rewards, your dopamine system is like meh, guess this task isn’t rewarding enough on its own, and it actually decreases your motivation to do it.

(Coming up this month: a post I’ve started drafting about what kind of rewards DO help reinforce your dopamine learning loop and increase rather than decrease motivation.)

❤️ A thought I’m loving [on falling in love platonically]

The Quiet Magic of Falling in Love Platonically:

We don’t often pause to appreciate that beautiful moment when you realize - this person is my person, my true friend. It’s a deep, soul-level connection where you feel completely understood, with no romantic strings attached, just pure care and trust. It’s the kind of friendship that wraps you in warmth, reminds you that you’re valued just as you are, and makes you feel genuinely loved. Friendships like this are rare treasures - some of the most meaningful bonds we’ll ever know.

- Maggie @heartfelt_writing_journey

🗳️ A poll on [resources]

I shared below a link to a graphic on the seven types of rest, and here’s a little more info, but I’m curious - out of the five options below, which type of rest do you need most today?

🔗Some link love

• Some good words on the constant urgency we see when we scroll

• A drink I want to make

• Interesting thought on dissociation as devotion

• Book I recently enjoyed

• The seven types of rest

• Most played song in June - an oldie but a goodie

📆 What you missed in June

Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them and support my research!)

• Dopamine challenge worksheet - I’m going to start doing monthly resources for my paid subscribers! YAY!

• Doing hard things - doopppammiinnneee

• A research update - and I’m actually in Montreal right now to present my research at a conference! Ahhhh!!

• Some thoughts on allowing emotions, being seen & some links I'm loving