Thoughts on regaining our humanity, being bored, a poll on phones and some link love ❤️
It's November (Christmas Tree time!)
I know there are a lot of big decisions being made this week. I am currently trying to decide whether to put up my fake Christmas tree this weekend or wait until November 21 and get a real one. (I think that’s the earliest I can get it delivered.) These are the real things we have to think about in this season.
Here’s what is in store in this newsletter:
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on regaining our humanity]
💕 A thought I’m loving [on boredom]
🗳️ A poll [on phones]
🔗 Some link love
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on regaining our humanity]
This month, a lot of my time has been used to create space for different people groups to grieve, particularly as it relates to the ongoing crisis in the Middle East.
Amid political opinions and the importance of advocating for whatever feels important, I think it’s easy to lose sight of very real people who are hurting; and who are navigating traumatic loss.
If my Aunt Cindy died in a traumatic way, I wouldn’t have to walk into the workplace and face my co-worker Bob’s opinions on Aunt Cindy. I wouldn’t hear people at the water cooler talking about their thoughts on what Aunt Cindy did or didn’t deserve. (Even though they hadn’t heard of Aunt Cindy til a few months ago). I wouldn’t have to open my web browser to see memes or commentary filling my feed about my Aunt Cindy.
I think we’re actually okay at this as humans: empathy. We are able to connect and listen. I know we are. We have an instinct to be respectful of people’s pain and lean in with compassion when someone in front of us is crying, tabling our own opinions or perspectives and just making space for someone to hurt.
It’s just that when people become anecdotes or conversations or political statements, we forget they are people. When we just see them across the internet, we forget they are real. And, we feel entitled. We sometimes behave as if our need to share our thoughts and opinions is more important than considering someone’s pain and humanity.
Plus, I think it can feel dangerous: to just listen and make space for someone’s pain. Like if we do it’s going to mean that we think xyz is okay. If we do, nothing will change.
But this month I’ve been reminded of an opinion I have that grows stronger every day: listening and caring is never a threat to healing, it’s the pathway.
💕 A thought I’m loving [on boredom]
I’ve been thinking this month about the creativity that our brains are capable of. When we reach for devices or chatGBT instead of sitting in the discomfort of not having ideas or feeling bored, we atrophy the muscles capable of such deep creativity over time.
Loving these thoughts from James Danckert (cognitive neuroscience prof) on boredom:
At a basic level, our desire is to interact with the world purposefully…Failing to satisfy that desire to act can make us feel ineffective. It is this feeling of inadequacy that makes boredom so uncomfortable.
The function of boredom is not to make us bored, it is a call to action. It is telling us that what we are doing now is failing to satisfy us is some important way. But its purpose is not to just push us into any action. Boredom encourages us to choose actions that give expression to who we are.
….in our desperation [to avoid boredom] we fail to see the truly challenging, and positive, question boredom poses—what matters most to you?
🗳️ A poll on [phones]
With all my phone opinions, I’m curious about yours.
🔗Some link love
Stuff you can get for free with your “I voted” sticker
Journal prompts for November
Elmo & Andrew on grief ❤️
Love this post about using your notes app to increase your joy
15 action items to help you feel more in control of your life
📆 What you missed recently
Below are some links to thoughts I’ve shared this past couple of months! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them.)
"They didn't mean to..." "They didn't know..." (i.e. phrases guaranteed to get me ranting)