Welp, somehow - even though last January was five months long, this one was only five days long! Someone should really how we stabilize time.
Here’s what we got in this newsletter!
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on lost identities]
💕 A thought I’m loving [on love]
🗳️ A poll [on journaling]
🔗 Some link love
📆 A full recap & links to this past month’s posts
🤔 A thought I’m processing [on lost identities]
People are complicated. There is a sense in which what we see of ourselves is like the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more underneath.
Some identity theories think of ‘self’ as a verb. It’s the action that happens when you interact with some experience. I love that. I can picture the water splashing up against a rock or a boat or the shore. It’s the same substance as the deepest part of the ocean, but we get to see it more clearly when it interacts with other things.
I’ve been processing lately what it feels like to lose parts of myself. There are parts of me that I had prior to experiences, before Covid, that are lost a little bit to me now. And they are parts of me that I loved. Parts of me that I thought were my design, my essence, my identity.
But people are complicated and sometimes you splash up against things in life that make you show up a certain way, and then other events or experiences cause a very different splash. And that other wave isn’t ‘gone’ or ‘lost.’ It was just a verb. The way you showed up in a moment reveals a part of you - but it’s the way you interact with a moment in time that will never come again. So you will never show up in that exact same way again.
I think we might be far more nuanced than we realize. I think the depths of who we are might be deeper than we know and that we all have a lot more of ourselves to learn, as we splash up against whatever today has in store.
💕 A thought I’m loving [on love]
I’m in my self-love era. Too many years spent cultivating internal war have given way to a season of internal peace: I am working with myself. Too many years spent singing songs of worthlessness have given way to awe and admiration for the kind of creation that humans are: so magnificently complicated and so beautifully and wonderfully made.
I’m singing love songs to the parts of me that have been afraid or ashamed. I’m singing love songs to this body of mine that is me. And so I keep saving quotes that resonate deeply with the way I’m cheering myself on. EG:
“As long as I’m still breathing, you’ll always have someone who is so proud of you for everything you’ve achieved.” - Freya Winters
I would change one word of this to make it true for me. I’m so proud of everything this self has endured. So proud of everything this soul has survived. And somehow - she is still standing, still singing.
I am making amends for the years of telling her all the ways she is not enough. And she will find in me someone who is continually impressed and in awe of her.
🗳️ A poll [on journaling]
I’m thinking of doing a journaling project for Lent. I’ll provide journal prompts for the days (most of them). How do we feel about journaling though?
Some link love
My most played song this month (I don’t even know this song)
A thing I want to make (but probably won’t)
Ideas for more restorative rest
Another thing I want to make (but probably won’t)
A couple of journaling prompts
Prayer prompt cards - I’m about to send out February’s so jump in if you want! (true story, someone who purchased these sent one to ME! and when I got it in the mail it was so beautiful and meaningful that it made me feel - I’m glad I made these)
📆 What you missed in January
Below are some links to what I’ve shared this past month! (Please note that some of my messier thoughts and musings are behind a paywall. You can read more about why I do that here, and feel free to upgrade your subscription to access them.)
Long Covid life & vacations (spoiler: they don’t mix well)
Feeling Free to Love (spoiler: it’s not as dangerous as I thought)
Podcast-ish Thing 🎧 1.17 - "But, they didn't mean to"